In his book, The Five
Love Languages, Gary Chapman, talks about five different ways people feel
love and encouragement; those being physical touch, quality time, acts of
service, words of affirmation, and receiving gifts. Each week this month we
will explore these and how we can use them to encourage others in our lives.
This week we are focusing on at Words of Affirmation:
Did you know that, researches argue it takes 5 to 10 positive
comments to outweigh one negative one?
When you start to think about it, that’s a pretty staggering
statistic. It could be just one of the
reasons why our words matter so much.
In high school I had the honor to play Taps at the Veteran’s
Day and Memorial Day celebrations. The first time I played was sophomore year
at the Veteran’s Day Celebration. Most people went home following the parade,
so the crowd for the ceremony was lightly attended. As I sat through the
program waiting for my cue, my nerves began to grow. My cue came and I snapped
to attention. There was a pause, a command, a slight pause, and then the guns
are fired. I waited, remembering everything I’ve learned, and play Taps, those
21 notes flowing out with ease. There was a closing word and the ceremony ended.
Afterward, I breathed a sigh of relief and started packing up my trumpet. An
elderly man, a Veteran, approached me and said with a tear in his eye “That was beautiful. Thank you.”
Those five words meant the world to me. Here are some other words of affirmation that
have made an impact on my life:
“You are a success. You
are worth it.”
“I’ve always had your
back and that isn’t going to change.”
“Thanks for helping me
when I needed it most.”
Those words not only encourage me, they make me feel loved. There
are times when honest and kind words can mean more than anything anyone could
ever do.
Using words of affirmation is more than notes, phone calls,
or great meaningful conversations. It is about the time and thought put into
those words. For someone who is filled up with words of affirmation, those
words, positive or negative, speak louder than actions!
If it’s true that it takes up to 10 positive comments to outweigh
a negative one, then we must be intentional about how we use our words. It’s not enough just to react and try to
encourage here or there. We must focus
on building up others, especially the next generation.
Take a moment and examine your words. How are you talking to those around you? How are you interacting with your family?
Are you filling your kids up with positive comments or
negative ones? How can you include more positive comments in your parenting
instead of negative ones? It’s a tough challenge
but it is one worth taking; and that’s why we want to help you.
The Box of Encouragement is our newest parent resource. We hope it will be a tool for your family to
start outnumbering the negative with the positive. And all you have to do is encourage each
other with your words. This month, take
the time to really think about the words you use towards your family members.
Here are a few prompts to help you form deeper, more
meaningful words:
I
appreciate that you . . .
I couldn’t
___ today if it weren’t for you . . .
I am
thankful that you . . .
I’m glad
to have you as my (mom, sister, friend, etc.) because . . .
I believe
in you because . . .
It
impressed me when you . . .
I’m so
thankful to have you in my life because . . .
I wish I
could ___ the way you do.
I’m proud
of you for . . .
Go ahead – give it a shot.
Start looking for ways to encourage each other through your words,
instead of finding something to complain about.
I promise you; just a small word of encouragement can make a huge difference.
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