Today’s family often describe themselves as too busy, stressed out, tired, unappreciated, frazzled, overscheduled, overwhelmed, overworked, disconnected, disrespected and even lonely. I don’t know about you but I can relate to all of those at some point in my life growing up and it is heartbreaking to hear these things, especially from kids and teens. So what if there was something we could do that was proven to help us all feel more connected, less stressed, more loved and actually grow closer as a family or even friends.
The secret really isn’t a secret at all. For centuries families and friends have been sitting down together to eat and reconnect; there is something so intimate and special about sharing a meal with someone. Not to mention that Jesus models this with friends and family over and over again throughout the Bible for countless discussions and unforgettable conversations. So maybe it is time we to bring back family dinners, where the whole family gathers to connect with each other and see if it will transform your family.
A blog I follow called, "Families on a Mission" designs plans specifically for families to engage younger kids at dinner with questions. Here are some of the comments made after their "40 Day What’s for Dinner Challenge"…
• “We love the outcome of a new routine that is truly improving our family life….”
• “Seeing my 6-yr old light up has been amazing as we’d be reconnecting each time.”
• “It took us out of our comfort zone and made us challenge ourselves to be more intentional with each meal and to be silly in different ways.”
• “I love hearing my kids’ thoughts, hearts, and dreams.”
• “We have noticed that our conversations are continuing throughout the day and we are excited to hear what’s new each night.”
Experts say that eating dinner five times a week as a family is the best way to see the most change and impact, but studies have also shown that committing to two or three nights a week can still completely change your family dynamic. And it doesn’t even have to be at home, you can do this at a restaurant! No matter where you are, the main idea remains the same-sitting together as a family where your focus is on each other as you’re eating.
It is during those times where your relationships begin to matter more than your busy schedules or the media crazed world we live in. Now, to do this well, you cannot be one of those families who sit around the table together but are focused on your gadgets, individual screens, or even televisions. The purpose is to intentionally set aside time to focus on each other no matter how good you are at multitasking. This does not work without everyone committing to the process. These family dinners should allow you to reconnect with each other and decompress from your day. We suggest laughing together and sharing stories to find out what is going on in each other's lives. Eye contact matters too and is often a sign of respect. So we also suggest looking at each other when you are talking to each other and looking at each other when you are listening to each other. And finally, if you take time to pray before meals together as a family you add a whole new level of intimacy and importance to the family dinner.
At the very least, family dinners could help teach our kids the importance of personal connections and socialization with other people. Remember that kids are learning to live based on what they see not just what they hear. Kids are learning how to be good siblings, how to be good friends, even how to be good parents from watching you and talking to you.
