Advent Express: Rediscovering the first gift of Christmas

Christmas is coming.  Without question it is a special time of year.  Somehow, Christmas waves a magic wand over this world and everything is softer and more beautiful.  It’s a season full of songs, lights and nostalgia.

And while you and your family will experience many gifts this Christmas, sometimes the best gifts are the things that we can’t touch or even see.  

We believe that most of the time the greatest gift we can give is not a present … but our presence.  So with that in mind the Next Generation Staff has been working and dreaming of a way to help you and your family be present together.

Even the word “Advent” is connected to the idea of ‘presence’, signifying the arrival of the most important person in all of human history, Jesus.  So during this Advent Season we would like to provide you and your family a gift and a tool to help you be more present with Him and with each other.

The ‘tool’ is our version of an Advent calendar; it’s called “The Advent Express”.  This gift is a kit that will help you and your family rediscover the first gift of Christmas, with the help of the popular Christmas book and movie, The Polar Express.

For each day of Advent (November 29-December 24) there is an envelope with instructions for a daily activity.  The activities will help you and your family experience the themes of Advent: joy, love, hope and peace, in a whole new way this year.

If you are interested in this year’s Advent Calendar for your family, contact the church office (765-778-2156) for more details.

One Thousand Gifts

We have so much to be thankful and grateful for.Our problem is that all too often we forget that truth.  Too many times what occupies our minds are the things that aren’t going well, the drama that encircles us and the worry that consumes our souls.

But the truth is we all have a lot to be thankful for.

In 2013, I set out to read 100 books cover to cover in a year.  It was a fun project and I really enjoyed it.  During that project I found myself finding new authors and branching out and reading books that I would have normally passed by.

If you asked me to list the 100 books I read that year I would struggle to name many of them, but one that would bubble to the surface of my memory immediately would be Ann Voskamp’s “One Thousand Gifts”.   

At the time Ann was a blogger and stay at home mom and she dared to ask the question, “How do we find joy in the midst of deadlines, debt, drama, and daily duties?  What does the Christ-life really look like when your days are gritty, long – and sometimes even dark?  How is God even there?”

So Voskamp set out to answer the question by listing out all of the things she was thankful and grateful for each day.  It didn’t matter how little or large the blessings were, she wanted to make sure that she didn’t miss anything that God had sent her way.

I found this book to be extremely convicting and challenging.  It really opened me up to a different way of looking at my word, capturing the beauty of each moment, and little by little letting go of the frustrations and irritations that seemed to drain the life from me.

As we approach this season of Thanksgiving and gift giving, I challenge you to start making a list of all the blessing that God as put in your life.  You might be surprised how little time it could take you to get to ‘one thousand gifts’.

We have a lot to be thankful for and I plan on spending more of my time embracing each gift that God has blessed me with.

I hope and pray that you will be able to count your gifts and see how great God really is, discovering gratitude and thankfulness in every moment.

Beacons in the Night

“Look here, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we are going to a certain town and will stay there a year. We will do business there and make a profit.”  How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone.”-James 4:13-14

Jesus once told a story about a rich man whose land yielded an abundant harvest.  The man so excited about what he had thought to himself, “I have no place to store these crops; I know what I’ll do.  I will build bigger barns to store all of my grain … then I’ll have plenty of grain for years and years and years.”  But little did this man know that that very night his life would be taken from him.

Jesus told this story because he wanted us to know that life is precious and that the life we have is fleeting.  It’s not worth wasting or squandering on things that don’t matter.  It’s like the fog or a mist, here one second but gone the next.  And while Jesus reminds us of this truth, it something that we often forget until we are forced to come face to face with the reality that this life can be all too brief.

This week we have all come once again face to face with that reality.  And while we change our profile pics, hold our children tighter, and #PrayforParis we are reminded once again that we should count our days; because each day counts.

So how do we respond to a world where there is such pain and hurt and brokenness?  What do we do about a pregnant Pastor’s wife who is murdered during a home invasion?  How do we cope with the suicide of student inside the walls of our schools?  How do we respond to the family who has lost their mother years too early to yet another battle with breast cancer?  What can we say to bring comfort to those who have lost loved ones to terror?  How can we continue in the middle of all this darkness?

Honestly, I’m not sure I have a great answer.  Its times like these that I am at a loss for words.  It’s times like these that I believe, as scripture teaches, God’s Spirit cries out on our behalf.  Because when we come face to face with the darkness that is present in our world the only thing that makes any sense is the groaning of the soul.

And yet as Christians, if we have learned anything about our God it is that even in the darkest hour there is still hope; that even in the midst of great injustice and tragedy that our God is still at work; that even in the darkness there is light.

It was in the beginning while the earth was formless and void, while chaos ruled, and while darkness reigned that God first brought light into the world.  And it’s no different today.  He still is looking to bring light into this dark world.

So how do we respond to this incredible darkness that we face?  How do we overcome all of the pain?   How can we make sense of any of these tragedies?

We become the light that God has called us to be.  We become “beacons in the night”.

Jesus said, “You are the light of the world.  A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.  Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl.  Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.  In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see … your Father in heaven.”

We were made to be light.

God first spoke light into existence, bringing order to chaos and pushing away the darkness.  Then he created humans and put his eternal light in us.  He created us to be beacons in the night, a refuge for those who are hurting, a pillar to remain constant in the storm. 

So how can you respond to this darkness ?  It’s simple really.

Be the light.

Wherever you can.  However you can.  Push back the darkness.   Become a beacon in the night.

The Struggle is Real

Genesis 32:22-28

²² During the night Jacob got up and took his family and his servants and crossed the Jabbok River with them. ²³ After taking them to the other side, he also sent over all his possessions, and then returned to camp.  ²⁴ This left Jacob all alone, late into the night a man snuck into the camp and wrestled with Jacob until the dawn began to break. ²⁵ When the man saw that he would not win the match, he touched Jacob’s hip and wrenched it out of its socket. ²⁶ Then the man said, “Let me go, for the dawn is breaking!” But Jacob said, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”

²⁷ “What is your name?” the man asked. He replied, “Jacob.” ²⁸ “Your name will no longer be Jacob,” the man told him. “From now on you will be called Israel, because you have wrestled with God and with men and have won.”

Whenever you read in the scriptures that someone’s name changes … it signifies something huge.  It’s like God is waving a giant flag saying … pay attention – this is important – something big is happening here.

Before his name was Israel – before he struggled with God – his name was Jacob.  And his name meant deceiver … and that’s exactly what he was.  If you trace back Jacob’s story – deception was a huge part of how his life played out. 

But in Genesis 32, as God is about to bring Jacob back and restore him – as He is preparing Jacob to be the leader of a nation – of God’s people – redeeming and keeping the promise He made to Abraham – there is one thing that is left to do and that is to change Jacob’s name.

He no longer will be known as the deceiver … now he will be known as “the struggler”

The Struggler ISRAEL

As God was renaming Jacob he was also giving a name for His people – they would be known as the ISRAELITES – or the people who struggle with God.

And while that’s name you probably wouldn’t choose for yourself – it is a fitting name.  The people who struggle with God.

The people who struggle to know God – the people who struggle to find God – the people who wrestle and ebb and flow in their relationship with God.

The Struggler ISRAEL

The Struggle is real.

Things are never as easy as we want and rarely as easy as we expect.  It would be great if life were easier, but the reality is that many times life is a struggle.

Through our struggles -without even realizing it, we end up fighting battles we were never meant to fight ... battles we can never win.

What if there were a better battle for us to fight?  What if instead of fighting against, we learned to fight for? The Struggle is real, but there is always a better way.

Our hope and prayer today is that as you dig into the scriptures you will find a God who is not disappointed in the struggle – but a God who is willing to walk with you every step of the way through the struggle.

And that in the middle of your struggle you will seek out a better fight - that you will find a better way.

But the best news about the struggle ... is that the battle is already won.  Jesus has defeated death and sin and has overcome any struggle that we wrestle with.  

You don't have to keep fighting the same old battles ... instead of putting your trust and hope in yourself and your ability to make it through the struggle, try today to turn to God and place your trust in him.  Because the struggle is real and you don't have to deal with it alone.

A Love Letter to my Parents

by Leah Dummel

There are a lot of pretty cliché sayings when it comes to parenting. Whether or not you are a parent, I am sure you’ve heard them, so I won’t repeat them here. However, one of these sayings, as a parent, I still daily find hard to comprehend. “When it comes to parenting, the sacrifice is worth the reward”.

Yes! Awesome! The reward! Wait, what? There’s a reward at the end? Because the sacrifice is BIG. Let me be clear, I did not become a parent because I knew there would be a reward at the end. There is no said reward, as far as I was concerned when it came time to make this life changing decision. But, hearing that there was a reward, did not make me mad.

Now that Devin, my husband, and I are in it. Like, REALLY in the thick of parenting; the trenches we like to call it, I just don’t know what this reward will be for all these big heavy sacrifices. I have actually been praying about this lately. Not because I feel I deserve a reward for procreating, but just because parenting has been hard lately, and quite frankly I needed some encouragement. And I believe that God is very clearly saying A) that He doesn’t like cliché sayings like that…which is great, we agree and B) there is no big fat reward when your child turns 18. And everybody’s reward looks different, because we were all created different. Our rewards for parenting well and intentionally and with love and care come quickly, without warning, and are most of the time very small and could easily be missed.

For instance, one of the greatest gifts our oldest son, Declan (3 ½) gives us is affection, because he is not very affectionate by nature. So when he says “mommy, would you like to snuggle me while we watch a show”? I literally drop what I am doing (unless I am holding the baby of course) and go reap the benefits of the sometimes painful seed sowing that is raising a small child. Some children give their parents literal gifts. Some very rich children give their parents houses or boats or something extravagant. And of course there is everything in-between.

I’ve been thinking about my parents a lot lately, and all the big sacrifices they made for me, and continue to make. I hate to admit it, but my thoughts about them are usually triggered from thoughts about myself and my own motherhood journey. But most recently, I have been reflecting on their sacrifice. So, I’d like to give them a little taste of their parenting reward…here on the internet…for anyone and everyone to see.

Dear Dad and Mom,

I want you to know I see you. Yes, I see you physically, but it’s more than that. I feel that finally, as a 29 year old mother, I truly SEE you. I see you when I look at Devin and I raising small children. I see you, mom, in my tired morning reflection after being up with a baby who has night terrors. I see you, dad, as I watch Devin come home from work and instantly drop to the floor to become a human jungle gym for his high energy sons to climb on and be physical with. I see you, mom and dad, when Devin and I finally flop to the couch at 10pm when the children are asleep and the aftermath of 2 small boys under 3 is cleaned up. That’s when we finally have a chance to really say hello to one another. I see how challenging that is on a marriage. I see your sacrifices, I see your teachings, and I see your gifts. And I’d like to tell you exactly how it is that I have come to see you both.

Mom;

• You sacrificed your body; for the 9 months you carried, grew, and nourished me. Then, you sacrificed again, when it came time to nurse me. It’s hard, so hard, but you knew it was the best thing for your newborn daughter so you did it. And then, you made the soul crushing decision to put me on formula so that you could go back to work. Thank you for making that completely selfless decision, because that’s a stinking hard one to make.

• You sacrificed sleep. SO much sleep. There was sleep lost during pregnancy because it’s just so uncomfortable. There was sleep lost for the first 72 hours of my life because labor and delivery; and post-partum testing and hospital visitors and middle of the night blood draws. There was sleep lost all night every night due to a crying infant, which then turns into a toddler having bad dreams, which turns into an elementary aged kid who is too excited to start their Saturday and wakes you at 6am. There was sleep lost from worry and anxiety over your middle schooler’s insecurities and acne and basketball tryouts. There was sleep lost over the gut wrenching fear of your 16 year old operating a motor vehicle, and then having way too serious of a boyfriend so young, and losing friends and coming into faith and moving away to college. And I know you are still losing sleep, because, it never ends.

• You sacrificed your heart and emotions, because I know from the time I could feel, YOU were feeling every ache and pain and joy and celebration and devastation and longing and disappointment and fullness and excitement that I was feeling. I clearly remember you celebrating my highest highs with me and crying with me in my lowest lows (specifically during a major battle with depression in high school where you hovered your body over mine to protect me from the rain, as I was outside weeping into the storm). Because I know, that when you feel those things with and for your children at the end of the day sometimes it feels like there’s nothing left emotionally, whether it be good or bad, to feel for yourself. You’re exhausted from the weight of it all.

• You sacrificed hot meals and drinks, specifically those made by other people. One of the simplest things motherhood has taught me is not to underestimate the true gift that a hot cup of coffee or tea made by somebody else is.

• You sacrificed the stay-at-home-mom dream role in order to go back to work, so we could eat, and so dad didn’t have to bear the entire financial burden of raising a family all on his own.

• You sacrificed your pride. You were always willing to look and act silly. And when your mouthy know it all teenage daughter used spiteful tones and wanted to win arguments, you would back down, because you are so graceful about choosing your battles.

Dad;

• You sacrificed your body too, because it became a literal jungle gym. The safest and most fun kind too, because nothing bad could happen there. No falls, no broken bones, no playground bullying. Only flying and wrestling where I could rest assured my head would land in a safe and loving spot.

• You sacrificed the dream of having a star athlete for a child, one who would follow in your record setting footsteps, because both of your kids loved music. And the feeling of having your unwavering support when I decided to leave the varsity basketball team my sophomore year, still resides in my bones today.

• For all intents and purposes, I know this was never a dream you dreamt out loud to us, but I can only imagine it was laid deep in your heart somewhere.

• You sacrificed sacred alone time with mom, your beloved, your wife. You shared your bed, your time, and your other half. Small children (and big children too for that matter) steal that from husbands, but you gracefully adapted, and did so with great joy.

• You were a constant man in my life. You were able to find this beautiful balance between gentle and doting and tough love and character building. You showed me how much you loved me by your steady consistency of simply just showing up.

• You also, sacrificed your heart. It can’t be easy to watch your daughter’s heart be broken. But you loved and guided me through that heart break and gently and cautiously but trustingly and confidently handed me over to Devin, my husband, who would be the new protector of my heart. And thanks, by the way, for not being that mean distant dad on the porch with a gun. That’s so lame.

Both of you;

• You’ve taught me to share. Not just my toys or my opinions or my faith or the butter (it’s always the butter; pass the butter, more butter please). But you taught me to share the most important people in my life. I had to learn to share you both growing up. I shared mom with my friends and classmates and church family, and I shared dad with teammates and players he was coaching and my female cousins, when they needed a father figure in their lives. I absolutely believe that watching you both give not just to Ian and I, but to other people who needed you so desperately, played such an integral part of preparing me to be a pastor’s wife; because there is lots of sharing my husband in ministry.

• You have taught and continue to teach me how to gracefully allow my children to grow up and grow out and not hinder or deter these experiences, even though it may be hard for me to watch. The older I get the more I see what a gift this trait is, and you both have it.

• You sacrificed date nights, because money was tight and when you work, you desperately want to be with your spouse but you also desperately want to be with your kids; and finding that balance is hard. So like most parents, you mostly chose the kids.

• I understand and appreciate the deep ache a parent feels when thinking about their children. It’s an ache unlike any other. It’s somehow emotional AND physical. It goes deep into your bones and draws you out of bed at all hours of the day (some of us nap when our kids nap, ok?) and night to the bedside of our sleeping children just to smell their hair or whisper one more prayer over them or kiss those stinky little lips.

• You have shown me how to celebrate your children, not just for whom they are, but JUST how they are.

• You sacrificed hobbies, so you could BE with us, not just GIVE to us. As an adult, I know money was tight when we were little. But for what it’s worth, I didn’t know that then. All I knew was the fun, the play, the pretending, the laughs, and most of all, I knew your presence.

I hope you feel this was a reward, hearing that your blood sweat and tears didn’t just go unnoticed but now they are empathized with. I love and respect you both more than words. Thank you for being the type of parents worth looking up to.

Always,
Leah

Until the Final Whistle

Bear with me if you are not a sports fan.  I promise you it’s worth it.

In what was likely the most bizarre play of the college football season and maybe one of the most unbelievable plays of the decade, No. 7 Michigan State took down No. 12 Michigan, 27-23, on the last play of the game, picking up a fumble on a punt that should have been the final play, sealing a win for the underdog Wolverines.

It was talked about all day Saturday and Sunday and likely will be dissected every day this week.  It will be in the highlight reel at the end of the season, Sports Center Top 10, and likely even make an appearance at the annual ESPN sports awards, the ESPYS.

The game for all intensive purposes was over.  Only a few seconds left on the clock.  All that needed to happen was for the Michigan punter to get off the punt, send it down field and let it go out of bounds.  That’s it.  Game over.  And Michigan would claim victory over Michigan State while at the same time ruining their rival’s perfect record.  It was over.

There’s only one problem.  Someone forgot to tell Michigan State it was over.  So instead of walking through another punt – one like all the others in practice or games before – Michigan State played until the final whistle.

In a recent post (you can find it here) I wrote about a couple of jars of marbles that I have at home.  They contain marbles that represent each week in the year for my children.  Each Monday I open the jars and take a marble out and carry them in my pocket all week.  They are a reminder of how important my children are; they also remind me of what should have the most value in my life.

I forgot to mention the jar of marbles I have in my office.  As of this morning, after I removed one for this week, there are 704 marble remaining – one for each week until my preschooler graduates high school and moves on to live a life governed by his decisions instead of mine.

So what does the Michigan vs. Michigan State game have to do with my giant jar of marbles?  Let me tell you.  This week I had the privilege of hearing Josh Shipp speak at a conference.  You may not be familiar with him, but he is a speaker and motivator who wants to help adults understand the power and influence that they can have in the lives of young people.

Josh was a product of the foster system and spent most of his adolescent life getting shipped from one home to the next, causing problems and intentionally trying to get kicked out.  He shared that it got so bad that he kept a notebook, where in it he kept track of how long it took him to get kicked out.  And each time he reached a new home he would see if he could beat his best score.

I would love to share with you more of Josh’s story but what I want to share with you is that even though his foster parents didn’t have a jar of marbles sitting in their office, they had a limited amount of time to make an impact.  They knew that once he graduated and moved on they would no longer have the ability to influence him in the same way – to encourage him and pour into him like they could now.

And although Josh had made up his mind since day one to make his foster parent’s lives a living hell – he was unable to break them.  They continued to show him patience, and kindness and they demonstrated to him that he had value and that he was loved.

At the conference Josh shared a story about how after his foster parents bailed him out of jail during his senior year of High School, his foster dad said to him “Josh, when will you get it through your head, we don’t view you as a problem.  We see you as an opportunity.”  For whatever reason that conversation made a huge impact with Josh.  He called it his turning point.  It was that moment when everything changed. 

So what does Josh’s story have to do with marbles and Michigan vs. Michigan State?  Everything.  You see it was only 26 weeks until Josh would graduate and move out.  If Josh’s parents had a jar of marbles … those 704 marbles would have been down to only 26. 

It would have been easy for them to say that Josh could never change, that he would never care, that he would never make anything of his life.  But they didn’t give up.  They played until the final whistle, just like Michigan State.

You may or may not connect with college football.  You may or may not want to carry marbles around in your pockets, but what I do hope you connect with this idea:

As long as there is time left – you can still make a difference.

I’m not sure what you’re going through with your kids, but remember whatever it is there’s time. 

There’s time to make sure they know they are loved.  There is time to make sure they know how much you care.  There is time to find some help.  There is time to break an addiction or a habit.  There is time to help them find their faith.  There is time to make an impact.  There is time to make a difference.

Just don’t give up. 

Go until the marbles run out.

Keep playing until you hear the final whistle. 

Numbering Our Days: 4 Ways to Make the Most of Every Moment

 If you have children then you know what they say is true.  “Time flies”. 

One day you are holding your bundle of joy in a hospital room, the next you are celebrating a birthday, graduation, or wedding. 


And in those moments when you take the brief opportunity to pause you wonder, “where did the time go?”

The one fleeting thing is this life is time.  You can do many things to gain more of what’s valuable.  You can work harder, dedicate yourself, and sacrifice more.  But the one thing you can’t get more of is time.

It’s limited.  It’s finite.  You have it … and then you don’t.

The struggle is trying to make sure you don’t miss the important moments.  Because once they’re gone, you can never get them back.

I came across Psalm 90:12 a few months ago, and it’s a scripture that has stuck with me and has become a sort of mantra for our family.

“Teach us to number our days, that we may present to You a heart of wisdom.”  (NASB)

“Teach us to number our days” … what a wise request.  This is prayer that we all could get behind and make part of our daily and weekly prayers.   God teach us to make each day count.  God teach us to number our days.

As I have thought more about this verse I’ve been convicted of how much of life I miss – of how many days I’ve forgotten to number and now they are lost … frozen in time.  I am unable to get them back, and so I am motivated to make each day I have with my family, with my ministry, in this life count.

Here are some ideas to help you if you are struggling to number your days:

 

1.              Commit to Reminders

It’s hard for me to remember everything that I want to.  Even in my work life I ask people to e-mail or text me so that I don’t forget.  I have lists upon lists on my desk.  I even use two whiteboards to keep track of all of the plates that I have to spin.  These tools serve as reminders for me at work so why not develop and commit to tools to help me remember more important things.

I’m a very visual person – so our reminders are marbles.  I have a couple of jars of marbles that are very important to me.  The two I have at home represent both of my boys.  In each jar is the same number of marbles as there are weeks until their next birthday.  Each week I take one marble out from each jar to remind myself to number my days.  I carry these marbles in my pocket all week.  Every time I reach in my pocket for my keys, for cash, for a pen … I also touch those marbles and it reminds me of the most important part of my day.

Your reminder doesn’t have to be marbles.  It could be a strategically placed note.  It could be photos it key places.  Whatever it is, I encourage you to find a good reminder for you, and commit to it.  Allow that reminder to be a trigger point for you to number your days.

 

2.              Make Work Wait.

All too often I find myself asking my family to wait because of work.  I convince myself that I’m needed and the deadlines are important and that in the end it’s for them anyways.  But the truth is sometimes work just needs to wait.   The clients will be there in the morning.  The paperwork won’t mind waiting until the next day.  If you want to be a person who is wise and who numbers their days, then somewhere you need to draw a boundary and say to work – “Sorry, you are just going to have to wait.”

 

3.             Become a Hands Free Home

Technology is an important part of our culture.  And technology is awesome.  Cars that drive themselves, paying for things with your cell phone, and Taco Bell delivery … let’s be honest technology is pretty impressive.  But there is a dark side to all of this technology and I think most of us are at least aware of it.

While we think we are using technology to connect with the world in better ways – what we are really doing is disconnecting from the people that matter the most to us.  While we can see what our high school and college buddies had for dinner we forget that our children are sitting across from us at the dinner table waiting for us to be with them.

It seems in an effort to always be connected we always have something in our hands.  I want to challenge you to make your home a “Hands Free Home”.  When you come home set down the phone, iPad, computer and remote.  Find a basket and have everyone put their phones in it until your time as a family is done for the evening.  Take away the distractions and allow your family to enjoy each moment.

 

4.             Appreciate the Beauty of a Moment

Each moment is beautiful, even the mundane moments.  We forget this truth that there is beauty in each and every moment.  We let our mind wander to other things, responsibilities, projects, desires and in the process miss what is happening right in front of us.

Here’s an example:  I love football.  Every little nuance about it is interesting to me from blocking, to play calling to coverages.  I can watch every second of every game on the weekend and just be totally content.  The other day I was watching football, totally engrossed in it when my three-year-old started asking me questions.

“Are those the Chiefs?”  “Are they talking about the Quarterback?”  “Who are the red ones?”  “Why are they wrestling?”  “What are they trying to do?”

If you have ever been around a three-year-old then you understand how these rapid fire questions come at you and you feel like there is no end.  And you feel like every answer you give leads to another dreaded question …. “Why?”. And while my son was hammering me with question after question, I started to get a little flustered.   But then I saw the beauty of the moment.

 

All I wanted to do was watch football.  But then I realized he was getting into it.  He was remembering things we talked about weeks ago.  He wanted to know who to cheer for and who to cheer against.  He wanted to be like daddy and spend time doing what daddy wanted to do.  It was a beautiful moment, maybe the best moment of my weekend.  And I’m so glad I didn’t miss it.

 

Make sure you are capturing the beauty of each moment … you only get a handful of them.  You never know if you will ever get the same chance again.

 

I’m so glad that as a family we have started to number our days.  It’s not an easy thing to do, but I believe it’s totally worth doing.  I feel like we have a new appreciation for life and all of the things that God has blessed us with.  And so I know that I’m going to commit to having marbles in my pockets, making work wait, being a hands free home, and trying to appreciate the beauty of every moment.  It’s my prayer that you will be able to do the same.

Bigger and Better

It has become one of the best events we do every year.  The concept is really simple. 

The outcomes are hilarious.  And our annual “Bigger and Better” event serves as a great reminder that you don’t need much to have a ton of fun.

If you’ve never participated in “Bigger and Better or had a group of teenagers show up at your doorstep unannounced while playing the beloved game, then let me explain the basics for you.  First, students show up at church.  We split them into groups and give them an adult do drive them around.  Then we give them time limit and a small object, something like a penny or paperclip.   Then we tell them the goal is to be the group who brings back the biggest and best items by trading one item for the next.  Each year we score the event and determine a winner differently, to add a twist and a chance for any group to win.

Pretty simple.  Teenagers being driven around for an hour or so, collecting as much junk as they can haul back to the church.  I’m not sure why this event has gained the admiration of our students.  But for whatever reason it has.  It’s an event that is always a success and always something we look forward to in the Next Gen Ministry Department.

During our latest event I was thinking about how the real beauty of the event is that while the groups are driven to get something “Bigger and Better” until the time runs out – they typically bring back little of value.  Most people who are willing to trade find something in their house they haven’t had the chance or the heart to haul out, so this random group of teenagers becomes the perfect team for the task.

But it’s not about the stuff that they bring back.  It’s about the experience.  It’s about the memories.  It’s about all of the random things that happen, and the hilarity that ensues.  That’s what “Bigger and Better” is all about.

I think too often we forget the truth that it’s about the journey not the destination.  In this case the destination turned out to be some dusty recliners, a vase, a myriad of old TVs, and a Teletubbie.  While the groups thought they were getting something “Bigger and Better” the real value was in the experience.  It was through connecting with others, being vulnerable and risking what they had that they truly walked away better.  Sometimes we buy into the American Dream and push and pursue what we think is “Bigger and Better”, and in the process we miss what’s truly valuable.

Raising Boys to Date Girls in an #AshleyMadison World

The following post has been republished with permission from the author Jackie Harmon.  You can find this post from her as well as others on her blog here. 

Boys.

I have two.
One in high school and one in kindergarten.

Ever since my high schooler was a kindergartner, we've had literally hundreds of conversations about girls. More specifically, girlfriends. Alex and I had our first serious talk about girlfriends when he was four years old. He has always liked girls. He never thought they had cooties and he was never embarrassed to play with them at recess.

When Alex was younger, one of my biggest pet peeves was hearing grown adults ask him, "do you have a girlfriend?" Most people think it's cute when little boys say they have a girlfriend. Or five girlfriends. But it has always irritated me.

I never let him answer that question. I always answered for him and my answer was always the same… "Alex isn't allowed to have a girlfriend. Relationships are very, very serious and his goal right now is to learn to be friends with girls and to learn to show them respect. But, one day." Even though I was saying it to the adult, I was saying it for the benefit of Alex. I wanted him to hear me say repeatedly that relationships were super important and the way we treat girls mattered.

You see, I am not at all against Alex having a girlfriend. But I am against leaving really important decisions like relationships between boys and girls for Alex to figure out by himself. I am against allowing him to ever think that having more than one girlfriend at a time is cute. I am against allowing him to feel like his identity is somehow wrapped up in if he has a girlfriend or not.

In our home, we have very open conversations. We always have. And after working with teenagers for the last 20+ years, I am shocked at how few parents talk to their kids about relationships, dating, purity, sex and marriage. Middle schoolers who still have to be reminded to use soap in the shower are often left to navigate boy/girl relationships with very little guidance from their parents. Does that seem weird to anyone but me?

I don't think there's a magic dating age.
I think it's different for every young person.

For Alex, we've told him that there are a couple of things we are watching for...

#1  We want to see him to actively pursuing a relationship with Jesus before he actively pursues the heart of a young lady. God made him for a specific purpose and if he is not careful, he will start worrying more about what his girlfriend wants/needs for him to be and forget all about who God is molding him to be.

#2  We want him to understand that for this season, his goal is to learn to be a protector of girls' hearts. He is to stand up for girls, not allow other boys to talk rude or inappropriate to them or around them, make sure he is being thoughtful of girls' emotions, and learn how to be good friends with a girl he likes.

When Alex decides he is ready to turn a friendship into a relationship, he can only do that after meeting with the young lady's Dad and/or Mom. *I realize right about now you are thanking God we are not your parents. Ha!* Our goal is not to be mean, I promise. Our goal is for Alex to use his brain and not act on his emotions. God has placed people in authority over this young girl's life and it is not a hormonal 16 year old boy. It is person, or people, who will stand before God one day and answer for they way they raised her. Alex needs to have a conversation with those people. He needs to look them in the eyes, tell them his intentions and commit to partnering with them to protect their daughter. If she is not the one he will end up marrying, she should be better off having Alex in her life for that season.

I'm not raising a 16 year old boy.
I am raising a man who will one day be the spiritual leader of his family.

A future husband.
A future daddy.
A world-changer.

My goal is not to teach Alex how to date, my goal is that Alex has a clear picture of what marriage is suppose to be. Dating is important because marriage is hard…and it's forever.

As I look back over the last 16 years, I am amazed at how God has protected Alex's heart and mind because we were willing to speak truth and bring to light all the hard topics. Satan is not going to wait until you are ready and feel comfortable talking about sex. In fact, he wants to fool you into thinking that keeping your kids in the dark will protect them. Well, he is a liar! Having many, many age-appropriate conversations that speak truth without shame protect your children on a deep, Spiritual level. It is time!

Their school is talking about it.
Their friends are talking about it.
The world is talking about it.
And the Bible has a lot to say about it.

It's time for every Jesus-loving family to understand the importance of talking to their children about sex and healthy sexuality. To talk about purity and dating.

Even if you didn't do it right.
Even if you messed up.

The truth of God's word gives life and hope. God has a way of redeeming our past and our mistakes and turning it into something beautiful. You can trust Him!  

"I am the light of the world.

Whoever follows me will never live in darkness.

They will have the light that gives life."

{John 8:12}

The Unashamed Challenge

The apostle Paul said,   “For I am not ashamed of this Good News about Christ. It is the power of God at work, saving everyone who believes”

This idea has been the major idea that has shaped the beginning of the fall for our student ministry – especially the High School Ministry.

We believe students should live unashamed about what they believe and that when they share the truth about who Jesus is it has power to change everything.

We believe that students can change their school, students can change their community, students can change the world.

We also believe that they can’t do any of that without you.

You set the example for your son or daughter.  You are someone that students look up to.  You are the primary influencer.  And as such we believe that its time for us (the adults) to set the example.

The truth is we spend too much time … hiding what we believe.  We miss God given, divine opportunities because we are too worried about being “politically correct” or what others think of us.

Unfortunately we spend too much time being ashamed of the gospel.

The heartbreaking thing is that - Jesus wasn’t ashamed of us.  He was willing to give everything so that you and I could truly know God. 

It’s time for things to change …

While the world will tells us to keep our faith to ourselves; in light of the Gospel, the only reasonable thing is the unashamedly share the truth and life that we have experienced in Jesus.  We should never be ashamed to share our faith.

We believe so strongly in this that we put a challenge out to our students.  Here is the “Unashamed Challenge”

Challenge:  We want to challenge students to make a short video – about their faith.  It can be about how Jesus has changed you.  It can be about how you love God.  It can be about how much you want others to know God’s love.

Whatever you do – make it about your faith – and what God has been doing in your life.  Then post it on your social media platforms with the hashtags:   #2econdFamily #Unashamed

That was the challenge … but now we want to extend the invitation to you the parent / the step parent / the grandparent / the adult.

Will you take the challenge?  Will you let the world know that you are unashamed?

Make sure you use the hashtags:  #Unsahmed  #2econdFamily

Let’s make it go viral – let’s let the whole world know – let’s continue the work that Paul was doing.  Let’s be unashamed

Keep Moving Forward

Let’s be honest … from time to time (or maybe all the time) we all struggle with forward motion.  It’s a scientific fact that an object at rest stays at rest.  It takes so much more energy, focus and determination to move forward than it does to just stay where you are.

Another truth I've come to learn, be it scientific or not – is that if you are standing still then you are actually losing ground.  An ancient Chinese proverb says this:  Do not be afraid of going slowly, be afraid of standing still.

When you quit moving forward in any area of your life – your health, your training, your skills or your spiritual life; you begin to lose the progress that you had made over time.

As we begin a new school year we have one message or concept for our Student Ministry family.  It’s for students, parents and volunteers as well – and the message is this:  Keep moving forward.

We believe in and lean on four core values for our ministry.  We also believe that all of us are at some point of the spectrum with in these four areas.  Our challenge to start the year is for each of us to look at what God’s been doing in and around us and ask the question: How do I keep moving forward?

The first core value is:  Connect

We live in a world that has become very disconnected despite technology.  However, God creates us to experience life together!  We believe the most important and powerful connections happen when we’re face- to-face.

So are you connected somewhere?  Do you have meaningful and powerful friendships?  Do you feel like you belong?  If not – then God is calling you to connect.

Our second core value is:  Grow

There are so many ways that we grow.  Even the scriptures reference how Jesus grew in wisdom, stature and in favor with God and man. (Luke 2:52).   Growth is key to the life that has been given to us.  We believe that the journey of faith takes time, and that intentional strategic growth is important. 

So if you are connected, then the next question is: Are you growing?  Are you growing in a group?  

Are you growing on your own?  Can you look back 6 months or a year and see the change that God has been working in you?  If not – then God is calling you during this season to focus on your own spiritual growth.

Our third core value is:  Serve

Ask anyone to look around our world and most would agree it is a broken place.  But it is not a place without hope; it is full of those who are willing to give their time, talents and energy to help those in need.  We believe that a changed life is a life that serves.  And we know that it is one thing to speak of the glories of the Lord; it is another thing to BE the glories of the Lord.  That is why we think it’s crucial to use what God has given us as a blessing to others.

If you are growing, have you discovered how you are shaped?  Does your heart break for the things that break God’s heart?  Do you find yourself giving up your wants and desires to help others find and follow God?  If not – then God is calling you to find a place to pour back in, to find a place to get your hands dirty and help others in need.

Finally our fourth core value is:  Share

We believe that as we connect, grow and serve that naturally leads to the willingness and desire to share with others what God has done.  Can you imagine what God can do through your story?  He gave it to you for a reason and wants you to use it to help other people find Him.

Do you find it hard to keep the amazing news about Jesus quiet?  Do you look for opportunities to tell the story about your changed life?  When people look at your life do they see the radical love and grace that Jesus offers?  If not – God is calling you to begin to share more confidently and openly about who He is and what He’s done.

The bottom line for each of us is to keep moving forward, even if it’s just a little bit at a time.  So what’s God calling you into, where is he stretching you and pulling you forward?  What’s next for you?

Keep moving forward, keep trusting God.

And more than anything else …. Don’t stand still.

HOW TO HAVE AN AMAZING SUMMER

With only a few days of the school year left, every student is dreaming about Summer Break.  Why is summer so important for students?  Maybe it’s the relaxation, no school, or seemingly endless free time that makes summer feel so great. All of those things are major “pros” to Summer Break but I think one of the best things about the time off is it’s a great time for your child to grow.  

While your son or daughter may not be spending their time in a classroom it doesn't mean that they aren't growing. 

Let me share with you some of the great ways that your kids can learn and grow and have an amazing summer!

1)     Learn more naturally.

There is nothing wrong with the classroom, but the one thing that summer allows that the rest of the year doesn't is time to learn outside of the school environment.  We often don’t view other forms of learning as valuable as the time spent in class, but spending time with friends can help develop social skills.  Exploring a park or a forest can expand the imagination and ignite a passion for knowledge.  Summer allows for growth in students emotional skills and problem solving abilities.  It’s good for our brains to switch gears and learn in new ways – and Summer Break provides that opportunity.

2)    Live with low-to-no stress.

The older a child gets the more stress they begin to feel.  With the pressures to perform well in school and in sports they need a time to experience the world with low-to-no stress.  Summer provides a great time to take advantage of a time to be more relaxed and let students figure somethings out.  Unfortunately many parents view the Summer as time to get a head in sports or school and they miss an opportunity to relive stress and instead put more pressure on their child.  I encourage you to take advantage of the this built in time to “de-stress”.  You won’t believe the difference it could make for your child.

3)    Make lifelong memories.

Whether it’s spending time with members of the extended family or going on a trip with a group of friends, the summer provides the perfect avenue for students to do things that they will never forget.  I still remember my summers where we went on family vacations, went on youth group trips, and did crazy/messy/ridiculous things.  Don’t underestimate the power of a moment or a memory.  Use the summer as a way to encourage your child to do things they would never think about doing.

4)    Get refreshed.

Rest and relaxation are important for students.  As we mentioned earlier school is extremely stressful – homework, peer pressure, cliques and sports to name a few – are things that a child really needs to evaluate.  Maybe your child doesn't want to play the piano anymore.  Maybe they decide they need some new friends.  It’s hard for a child to transition away from activities or people that they feel they need to change – but providing space like Summer Break can allow them to evaluate where they want to go moving forward.  Giving them time to be refreshed is crucial.

We hope that Summer Break for your child is amazing.  We are hear providing some key opportunities to help them connect with people, make memories, continue to grow and in the meantime be refreshed.  We hope you are looking forward to summer as much as we are.  It’s going to be amazing!