Finish Strong: Finish Line

A friend of mine planned on running in the annual mini-marathon in Indianapolis.  For months he trained, plotting a course through town and laying out a training schedule so that he would be ready.  He ran religiously.  I knew on certain days and certain times if I drove through town I would find him pushing himself harder to reach his goal.  He did everything that he needed to do in order to be ready, but the evening before the race my friend didn’t feel very well, and he knew that race day was going to be a long day.

He had put all the hours and miles in order to be ready, so he was determined to get on the course and run the race even though he wasn’t feeling one hundred percent.  Things started out fine, but he could tell that he was expending more energy than he should be just trying to keep up with the pace he had set for himself.  As he entered the track at the speedway he could tell things were getting worse, and before he could make it around the loop he collapsed.  He was sick and dehydrated and his body couldn’t take any more.  He found shelter and shade in a medical tent, where he was given great attention.  He was feeling so terrible that it took him a while to get the strength back up to get back on the track.  When it was all said and done, it took my friend over four hours to complete the race, more than double the time he was aiming for.  

A few days after the race, he sat in my office.  He was visually discouraged and frustrated after putting in all the hard work and not getting the result he wanted.  We talked for a bit and he told me that he was planning on doing another mini in the near future, knowing that he could do better and cross the finish line the way he wanted this time.  Last weekend, he ran that race and finished very close to the time he was shooting for.

I know it’s not how he envisioned it, but I was really proud of my friend for finishing strong.  He accomplished what he wanted to do – he crossed that finish line proud of all that he had done.

This past week, we received word that one of the long time members of our church passed away.  He was a great man of God who was very influential in the lives of so many people in our congregation.  He spent most of his adult life doing God’s work, sharing the Gospel with anyone who would listen or care to watch him live his life.  In the last five years he developed Alzheimer’s, and then in the fall he was diagnosed with cancer.  It was difficult for his family to watch his decline.  But the amazing thing was watching him and his family finish strong.

When I think of this great man I am reminded of the words of the Apostle Paul nearing the end of his ministry, “For I am already being poured out … I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”  Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord … will award me on that day - and not only to me, but also to all who have longing for his appearing” (2 Timothy 4:6-8).

In the coming days, we will celebrate the life he lived.  We will also celebrate how he finished the race strong.  We will talk about how he fought the good fight.  We will remember how he kept the faith.  And we will smile when we realize that one day we too will have the opportunity to be awarded the crown of righteousness, not for anything we had done – but because we lived our lives longing for God.

This week, I have asked myself how do I run a race like that.  How do I live a life like he lived?  How do I keep the faith, fight the good fight and finish strong?  I think the secret is in our perspective.  It’s not about one race.  It’s about many races.  It’s not about one battle or fight; it’s about a daily skirmish.  The secret to running THE race and finishing well has to do with what we do each day.

We have to run the race each day.  We have to train to make the right decisions.  We have to practice fighting the good fight.  We have to get better at being faithful in tough times.  And all of those things happen one day at a time.  You can’t just sit down and say, today I am changing course and I am going to finish the race strong, twenty … thirty … forty … fifty years from now.  No, you have to decide today that you will run the race, and fight the good fight, and finish strong.

And when you do that – there is no doubt in my mind that some days you will not cross the finish line the way you wanted to, or the way you planned to.  But my friends, remember you still crossed the line. 

And then tomorrow you will get back up and you will try again, knowing that you can do a little bit better than you did the day before.  You will also know that when you live life this way, (running the race, fighting the good fight, and longing after God) that one day you will receive an award that is far greater than just crossing the finish line.

So I encourage you, finish this day strong.  Then finish the next one and the next one and the next one.  Finish this season strong.  Finish this year strong.  Run the race.  Fight the good fight.  And anxiously await for the day, when you will be embraced into His arms and you will hear your Father in Heaven say, “Well done.”

Finish Strong: Priorities

I don’t know about you or your family, but in our house, we love sports.  We talk about sports.  We play sports.  We watch sports.  And as our children get older I am confident that we will run around on Saturdays from one sport to the next until we can barely move.  Sports are part of our family DNA.

Sports are also part of our cultural DNA, so much so that it’s even embedded in our language.  You probably have had to “take one for the team” before.  Maybe you had a project that went “down to the wire”.  It’s even possible that you’ve had a “knock-down, drag out” where the “gloves came off” and you were willing to “go to the mat” for your view or position.  The point is that there is something about sports that unifies us – that the language resonates with us and helps us see a common image.

The idea of using sports images to unify people isn’t new.  It’s actually been around a long time.  The ancient Hebrew and Greek scriptures have these references sprinkled throughout them.  This month we have been looking at some of these references as we focus on what it means to finish strong.

There is an idea in sports which transcends the games being played, be it boxing, basketball, figure skating or any other number of competitive sports – this idea centers around finishing strong.  In athletic competition it’s not enough to come out and do well to begin, but you must finish your opponent.  You have to “get them on the ropes”.  You have to display a “killer instinct”.  When you have the advantage you want to “break the will” of the other team. 

The Apostle Paul recognized this idea and he leveraged it to try and help his fellow brothers and sisters in Christ understand what it looked like to “Finish Strong”.  “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize?  Run in such a way as to get the prize.” (1 Corinthians 9:24)  The way that Paul expressed this idea was trying to help us understand that it’s not just enough to run.  It’s not about running hard – it’s about pursuing the prize.

There is a simple, yet amazing, book by Andy Stanly titled, The Principle of the Path.  In it, Stanley reminds us of a very basic but powerful principle that we all should take notice of.  The principle of the path states that:  Direction – not intention – determines our destination.  In other words your current direction will determine your destination.  Where you end up in life will never be determined by what you wish for, hope for, or plan for.  Where you end up – the goal – the prize you are seeking after is directly connected to the direction that you are currently headed.

Paul’s idea of running in a way so that you win the prize, connected to the Principle of the Path reminds me that if we want to finish strong (this semester/  this year / this life) then the direction you currently have matters a great deal.  The priorities and the way you have oriented your life currently are pointing you toward a prize.  The question you should ask yourself is:  “Is the prize I’m chasing, truly a prize worth winning.”

I’ve seen a lot of parents chase after the prize of athletic achievement.  Their kids are good at sports and they had fun (at least for a while) playing every sport all year long.  But in the end the prize of athletic achievement leaves them feeling empty.  While they may have been the best in town, they fail to achieve at the next level.  I’ve seen other parents run after the prize of wealth, believing that money and shiny toys will help their family have fun and stick together.  Many of these family end up divided because what mattered more to them was the next big purchase or experience.  I’ve even seen families run after the prize of happiness, believing that if everyone is happy and never has to go through anything difficult that life will be better that way.  But the prize of happiness is deceptive, and children who have never learned how to respond to tough situations crumble under the pressure.

My friends remember Direction – not intention – determines our destination.  And if we are to run in such a way that we win the prize then we must first make sure that our priorities and our direction are placed on the right prize.  So what is the right prize?  I think there are a few ways that you can think about or package the answer to that question.  But my favorite is the conclusion to one of the stories that Jesus told.

The story is called, the Parable of the talents and in this story each servant is entrusted with something of value from the master.  Jesus tells this story hoping that we will see that we are the servants, and God is the Master.  He has entrusted us with so much, especially with the lives of our children.  Ultimately it’s up to us to make the right choices when it comes to what God has given us. 

The prize I think we each should focus on is having God say to us at the finish line what the Master says to his servant at the end of the parable.  “Well done, good and faithful servant!  You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things.  Come and share in your master’s happiness!” (Matthew 25:23).  That’s the prize – not just to do well and be faithful … but to be with God and share in His happiness forever.

I want to encourage you to run in such a way that you win that prize.  Slow down this week, and take time to ask yourself:  What direction is our family headed on?  What prize are we chasing after?  And if you don’t like the answer make the choice to change your destination by changing your direction and recalculate what your priorities should be so that you and your family can finish strong.

Finish Strong: Grateful

by Desi Ash

It can be really easy to be stuck in the routine. May is a busy month. The school year is ending, schedules for summer are either filled or almost maxed out, and the to-do list is longer than ever. During this time do you find yourself being grateful?

For me, it’s not the first response. My first response is to feel exhausted, worn out and ready for a new pace.

I was reminded last week at re:mix, the preteen ministry of PCC, that I need to take time to be grateful for the things going on around me, to not just aimlessly go through the year, being grateful only at thanksgiving.

Between finishing the school year, prepping for summer events, and trying to plan a trip back to my hometown, I have overlooked many things.

I have overlooked

o   How awesome the preteens at PCC are and how much they have grown this school year.

o   How much fun I get to have working with a best friend

o   How God has worked through PCC

o   How much I continue to personally grow and mature

And the list goes on. If we aren’t careful we will miss the moment, we will miss being able to thank God, and we will miss seeing God at work around us.

The Apostle Paul talks about this in 1 Corinthians 9:26a

            Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly;

Running aimlessly. Running without purpose. For me this looks like not sleeping because I am worried about tomorrow or so focused on the project being complete that I miss the growth happening in the moment. What does running aimlessly look like for you? What are you missing because your purpose is not set?

Running aimlessly isn’t going to get us far. We will burnout and lose energy. And the same is true day to day. If we don’t take the time to be grateful, to count our blessings we will burnout and lose sight of God.

When we are grateful our perspective completely changes. I recently saw a quote that read “Don’t let a bad moment ruin your day. Think of it as a bad minute, not a bad day and you’ll be okay”. By changing your perspective on that one moment your perspective changes for the day.

The same is true when we take time to be grateful. Instead of being negative or caught up in the to-do list, look around and see the positive, how God is working.

God hasn’t stopped showing up; we might just be wandering aimlessly and missing it. Pause this week and spend time being grateful. Let the gratitude change your perspective so you can finish strong.

 

Finish Strong: Focus

by Desi Ash

I am not a distance runner. I am a sprinter. For those who don’t understand running, distance equals long and sprints are short. The difference is huge. Especially for me, someone who has sports induced asthma.

I loved running track. My strengths were the 100 and 200 meter dash and the 4 x 100 meter relay. I was part of a track team for two years by the time I entered middle school and needed to run the mile for gym class.

My sixth grade year the mile ended up being my most embarrassing moment. I knew I could run, so I knew there was no reason I shouldn’t be able to get the time that would equal an A. What I didn’t know as a sixth grader was how to properly breathe while running a mile. Breathing and running isn’t something that really goes hand in hand for a sprinter. Needless to say my sixth grade self, ended up in the nurse’s office after passing out from a really bad asthma attack.

It was that day that I learned in order for me to do any amount of distance running I needed to focus on my breathing.

The same could be said about other embarrassing or not so proud moments in my life, where I realized what I really needed to do was change my focus.

What is your limit? Is it having an asthma attack because you are running from one thing to the other with no break? Is it yelling at the dog because you just can’t take one more person or thing needing your attention? Or is it completely shutting down because you just can’t take trying to make everything work anymore?

We all have a limit. We all try to pack as much in as we can because we know that we won’t get these moments back. We focus on making sure that everyone has eaten and brushed their teeth before leaving for school, or that they have arrived to practice with all of their gear, or that all the bills get paid in a timely manner. Sometimes we focus on just making it through the day because our energy is spent.

But what if we are focused on the wrong thing? What if all we needed to focus on was God and the prize He has for us. The prize of eternity with God, as Paul shares in Philippians 3:14:

I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

In the juggling act of your kids’ schedules and your own personal life and the household chores don’t lose focus on God. Don’t set aside your time of prayer because you need 15 more minutes of sleep. Don’t set aside reading your Bible because your inbox has 45 unread emails. Don’t set aside nurturing your relationship with God because you spent all day tending to the needs of your family.

At the end of the day it’s not going to matter if your cable bill is past due, your son forgot to tell you about a big project due tomorrow, or that you were 30 minutes late picking up your kids after practice. What will matter is your relationship with God and how you modeled that to your kids when life was busy.

Press on towards the goal and don’t lose focus. 

Finish Strong: Overwhelmed

by Devin Dummel

When I was in middle school I was a little overweight.   I loved being active and I was above average in most sports and activities, but there were some goals that were just too difficult to achieve.  I remember dreading the end of the semester because I knew in our gym class we would be testing each of us on how many chin ups we could do (I could do exactly zero) and if we could complete a ten minute mile (I didn’t understand why we needed to run a mile).

Most of my friends didn’t have any trouble with completing these tasks.  Many of them were doing double digits chin ups and easily were running an eight minute mile.  But because of my delayed physical development I wasn’t able to reach these goals or match these marks.  I remember my parents encouraging me to do my best and just give it all I had.  My parents were always a positive force in my life and encouraged me to rise to any challenge.  To my parents it didn’t matter if I did a chin up or was faster than a stop watch, what mattered to them was that I did my best and I finished strong.

The author of the book of Hebrews has a similar message of encouragement for us:

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles.  And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us”  -Hebrews 12:1

If your family is anything like mine then this time of year can be completely overwhelming.  School is winding down, summer sports are gearing up, and it seems like every weekend is filled with a wedding, holiday, birthday or bar mitzvah.  In the middle of all of the coming and going, it’s hard to find time to even breathe let alone focus on the things that we know we should be focusing on.

It may seem like it’s impossible to do.  And this month, you may have the very real goal of just surviving and making it to the summer.  Between your schedule, financial issues, marital stress, health scares, and just everyday problems, it’s easy to feel weighed down and trapped by your circumstances.  And when you feel totally overwhelmed, it’s tempting to just throw in the towel and quit.  It would be very easy to and understandable if you just gave up.

But don’t.

As a parent you have the best and most important job in the world, and while the enemy may be wanting you to throw in the towel, and focus on lesser things.  You must hear these words ….

Finish Strong.

I know when you hear those two words; it makes you think of two other words … “But, how?”  How can I finish strong when all of this other stuff is weighing me down?  How can I be the parent God wants me to be with all of the responsibilities clouding my mind?   How can I love these little people who won’t take their hands off me?  How can I affirm and encourage the teenager who won’t listen to a word I say?  How do I throw off everything that hinders me?

“Those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”  -Isaiah 40:31

Make the choice today to finish strong!  Choose this month to put your hope and your trust in God each day.  Don’t be dragged around by your schedule.  Don’t let you family be frenzied by the daunting pace.  Instead spend time with God, seek Him and allow Him to fill you up and help you run the race He has called you to.  Allow Him to help you finish strong.

 

Presence: Quality Time

by Devin Dummel

There is a rumor going around, that I am the “warmest daddy in all the land.”  

This phrase is part of our nightly bath time ritual; and it’s been this way since my oldest could talk.   It comes sometime after getting clean and a little extra bathtub-play-time.  It usually happens after their fingers have pruned but before they are resting in their pajamas.  It happens during the transfer window from the tub to bed.  That’s where my greatest daddy skill comes in, where I get to be a human heater ensuring my children maintain the proper temperature as they prepare to go to bed.

It’s a simple job, but I am extremely fond of it.  I’m not sure if the moniker is entirely accurate; there very well may be a few fathers out there in the world who are warmer, but I’ll accept the enthusiasm for my “gift” wholeheartedly; because at the end of each day I get to hold them just a little longer.

But something odd happened the other night after bath but before books.  As I took my spot to be the human heater, I said to my oldest son, “Are you ready for the warmest daddy around?” to which he responded, “But you’re never around.”  And naturally my heart sank.

In my defense, when asked to clarify my son said, “You’re never around WHEN you are at work”, which is a very logical and highly intelligent thing for a four year old to say.  He is factually correct, when I am at work, I am not around.  But the problem is there are times when I am around – I’m at home, or in the car, or on a walk with my sons – I’m around but I’m really not “around”.

As we finish this month looking at some of the ways in which our children hear and feel our love, it’s about time that we focus on TIME; quality time to be specific.  Because as many of us know; there is a big difference between “regular time” with your children and “quality time” with your children.

Quality time happens when you are engaged and actively participating with your child.  Regular time with your child looks more like a high school babysitter with the TV on, replying to text messages from her boyfriend every thirty-five seconds; sure you are the “responsible adult” in the room making sure no one manages to kill themselves, but there isn’t much engagement beyond that.

So what sets quality time apart from all the other time you spend with your children?  I believe that there are two things:

First, quality time is centered on togetherness.  It’s not about just being in the same space or even doing the same things.  It’s about having focused attention on your children.  It’s about being with them in the moment.  It’s about playing, laughing, getting dirty, being silly and sharing life with them in the ways that they enjoy life in their current phase (yes this may mean you need to listen to Justin Bieber ).  

Secondly, it’s about conversation.  When you partner dialogue with focused attention, what you will realize is that you can learn a lot about your child and about what they are dealing with or going through.  You can see them growing not just physically but mentally and emotionally.  So if you want more quality time with your children, you have to sit down with them, ask questions and listen.

Some children need more quality time than others, but the truth is there is simply no real substitute for physical and mental presence.  If you want your child to feel your love, the best ways is being in their life and on their level on a day to day basis.  Quality time has the greatest impact.  If you’re not sure where to start try a few of these things:

·        Maintain Eye Contact - giving them your undivided attention, communicates that they matter.

·        Don’t try to “multi-task” – we like to think that we be efficient and do lots of things at once.  But if you are working on another task, then you are failing at giving your child quality time.

·        Listen Behind the Words (Listen for Feelings) – don’t just hear what words your child is saying, listen for what they are not saying.  Ask them how things made them feel and what it’s like to be them.

·        Refuse to Interrupt – do your best not to allow your phone, e-mail, or other distraction interrupt quality time with your child, protect that time you only get so much of it.

While you may not be the “warmest daddy in the land”, (that title is already taken) you can be the mom or the dad who is around. You have everything you need to demonstrate how much you love and care for your child.  All you need to do is focus.  So put down the remote, the laptop, the phone, the book or the magazine and ask your child if they would let you hang out with them; even if it’s just for a little bit.  My guess is, they would be thrilled to have you join them.

Affirmation: Physical Touch

by Devin Dummel

I never knew a kiss could be so powerful.  Raising two boys is immensely challenging and immeasurably fun.  Every day we are creating new worlds with our imaginations, telling stories and becoming heroes.

But as you would expect with all of the saving of the worlds we create together, our boys manage to find themselves in some pretty dangerous situations.  The end result: lots of bumps, bruises, scrapes and cuts.

What we have discovered, as we have learned to parent, courageous and clumsy boys is when the tears start to flow, most of the time all their wounds need is just one perfectly placed kiss from mom or dad.  After that, we are transported back to a land of make believe, and back to our adventures.

Humanity has long known the emotional power of physical touch. It’s something that’s built into our DNA. That's why we pick up babies and touch them tenderly.  That’s why we rock them for hours on end.  And, yes that’s why our magic kisses can heal most wounds.  Long before an infant understands the meaning of the word love, he or she feels loved by physical touch.

The benefits of physical touch have been extensively studied.  Findings have shown that physical touch reduces stress and relieves pain.   These studies have also shown that physical touch is one way in which all people young and old find comfort and affirmation.

When your child is young it can be much easier to affirm them through physical touch.  It’s easier to hold, carry and rock a three year old than a thirteen year old.  But just because your child is growing up, it doesn’t mean that they don’t need to be affirmed by your loving touch.

From high fives to hugs, wrestling to racing, and sports to snuggling – there are so many ways for parents to affirm their children through physical touch.  These actions of affirmation remind your child that:

·        They are liked and loved.

·        They are not alone.

·        They have someone who will spend time with them.

·        That they are accepted just the way they are.

I know there will come a day, when my boys are tired of playing pretend adventures with me.  I know a day is coming when they will no longer want my kisses.   I am aware that there will be a time where I can’t kiss or hug the pain away from their lives.

But I am committed to making sure that a day will not come  where they will question that I love them, where they wonder if they are alone, where they feel as if they don’t matter, or that they need to change who they are to have my love and support.

For now it’s hugs and magic kisses.  Before long it will be playing catch and shooting baskets.  And someday (hopefully a lifetime away from now) it will be a lasting embrace as I say goodbye after a wonderfully long day of playing pretend adventures with my grandchildren.