Checkpoint 3: Moral Boundaries

by Whitney Jones

As we raise our children there are is an incalculable number of things that we will teach them.  These skills cover a wide range of the human experience, from how to feed yourself, how to use the toilet, how to make friends, how to drive, and even how to mend a broken heart.

But one of the most important things you can teach your child to do is to establish clear moral boundaries.  We live in a world and a culture that constantly shifts what the boundaries of right and wrong are.  An in the postmodern world we live in, sending your child out into adulthood without helping them form some clear moral boundaries is one of the dangerous things we as parents can do.

Without clear moral boundaries as a guide, our children will go beyond the natural boundaries that God has established and experience the harsh reality of the consequences of sin.  Any parent would want to save their child from as much unnecessary pain, heartache and suffering – the best way to do that is to set them up to succeed by establishing a clear internal moral compass.

According to  Dana Gresh, writer of The Secret Keeper – The Delicate Power of Modesty, “Teens who are exposed to a basic, age-appropriate, Bible-based value system between the ages of 8 and 12 tend to be less likely to engage in early sexual activity, substance abuse, and violence. They are also more likely to have healthy friendships, excel academically, and become positive social contributors in their communities.”        

That is something that all parents want for their children so it’s with this in mind, we want to make sure we are creating a strong value system for your child and instilling positive moral boundaries. We want to provide a safe place for your child to learn godly virtues and grow spiritually and we want to equip you so you can instill healthy moral boundaries in your child. 

BE A ROLE MODEL

One way you can help your child have positive moral boundaries is by being a positive role model for your child. Children automatically tend to imitate their parents. What you teach them will mean little if you don’t practice what you preach. Any inconsistency or compromise with godly standards will undermine your effectiveness.

BE SURE TO DIALOGE

Another way you can instill positive moral boundaries in your child is by dialoging constantly with your child. Silence sends a message to your child. If you are too embarrassed to talk about anything sexual, that sends a negative message that there is something shameful about our bodies and sexuality. Children will be reluctant to ask questions or discuss anything with their parents that they think might embarrass them.

Sharing truth from the Bible is another way you can help your child have positive moral boundaries. 

In 1 Corinthians 6:18 it says, “Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.”

Let your kids know that God created sex to be a beautiful essential ingredient of marriage, but sexual sin, sex outside of marriage, always hurts someone. It hurts God because it shows that we prefer following our own desires instead of the leading of the Holy Spirit. It hurts others because it violates the commitment so necessary to a relationship. Our children need to know that sexual sin only hurts them.

PRAY

Lastly, pray for your child daily. Pray that the church will be a safe place for them to have fun and form relationships. Pray that you will be a positive role model for them. Pray that you will have the right words to say to them at the right time. Pray that they will establish and maintain moral boundaries.

We believe that purity paves the way to intimacy.  Through establishing clear godly moral boundaries in the life of your child, you will pave the way for them to have a closer more intimate relationship with God.   All paths have a destination, and if you want your child to have a healthy and intimate relationship with God ten years from now, it starts today by helping them establish clear moral boundaries.  You have more influence than your realize, but even in this vital task you are not alone. The church is here to help you accomplish your goal.

Checkpoints: Spiritual Disciplines

by Desi Ash

I don’t remember the first time I fell in love with playing a musical instrument, but I do remember that it didn’t happen on day one. 

When I first started playing the violin in fourth grade my instructor had me practice every day at a certain time. I hated it. Not only was it hard and frustrating, but I wasn’t very good at all. Slowly over time I got better and practicing my violin was something that I looked forward too.

This week we continue sharing about the seven checkpoints, the key ideas we see as essential to the spiritual foundation for every child. Our second checkpoint is Spiritual Disciplines, developing a habit of reading the Bible, praying, journaling, and memorizing Scripture.

Developing the habits of Spiritual Disciplines can be similar to my experience of practicing the violin. It can be hard and boring and frustrating to begin and get in the routine of doing, but over time that time with God is something you not only long for but look forward too.

Romans 12:2 says “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”

The world we live in unfortunately isn’t the world that God had in mind when he created it. It is easy to get caught up in the stress and pressure of society and lose track of God. In order to be transformed by the renewing of our minds, as Paul says, it happens through our spiritual disciplines. It is through the time we spend removing lies of the world and replacing them with truth from God. The more we learn and know about God, the more we will do as God says.

The best way to start making spiritual disciplines a habit is by scheduling time every day at a certain time to sit down and do them. For some people that is the morning, for others it’s before bed, what works best for you? What spiritual disciplines are you modeling for your kids? What you model is what they will base their own spiritual disciplines on. 

You can help your kids develop a habit of spiritual disciplines. Start by picking a time that will work every day. Next, pick a place that can be special, that will help focus on spending time with God. Then dive in.

We provide many things to help aid you in helping your kids during the week. For kids and preteens we provide tools for families to do together to talk about the lesson on Sunday morning. For our jr. high and high school youth we provide devotionals that they can do on their own.

As stressful as it can seem to add one more thing to your schedule, remember, if we can see as God sees, we will do as God says. The only way to know what God sees and what God says is by having a consistent devotional and prayer life. And this idea is the second checkpoint. 

Checkpoints: Authentic Faith

by Whitney Jones

Over the next couple months we will be highlighting seven checkpoints that we believe are an essential spiritual foundation for every child.  As we plan and prepare each year – these seven ideas are what we want to communicate repeatedly with kids and students here at PCC.    Every series, study and lesson hinges on one of these key ideas and we believe that they have the ability to impact and shape your child for success and spiritual maturity.

We want to share these ideas with you because you are the key influencer of your child and we believe that when these ideas are encouraged and supported at home a child has a much greater chance to develop a healthy spiritual life.

So let’s dive in and begin with the first Checkpoint – Authentic Faith.

Do you remember how you felt when you were very young and your birthday approached? You were excited and anxious. You knew you would receive gifts but some things would remain a surprise. Birthdays combine assurance and anticipation, and so does faith!  The book of Hebrews tells us that “Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see” (11:1)   

We need to know that, God can be trusted and that he will do all he has promised to do.

The beginning point of faith is believing in God’s character: He is who he says he is.  The end point is believing in God’s promises: He will do what he says he will do. When we believe that God will fulfill his promises even though we don’t see those promises unfolding yet, we demonstrate true faith.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” Proverbs 3:5-6

Do you trust God with the critical areas of your life?

When we have an important decision to make, we sometimes feel that we can’t trust anyone-not even God. But God knows what is best for us. He is a better judge of what we want than we are! We must trust him completely in every choice we make.  Bring your decisions to God in prayer; use the Bible as your guide; and then follow God’s leading. He will direct your paths by both guiding and protecting you.

If Jesus could create the universe, then no part of life is out of his control. We should not exclude Jesus’ wisdom and the Bible’s guidance in problems that come up in life. Go first to God for advice. Talk to him in prayer and listen to him. Have faith that he will take care of it.

Jesus didn’t come to this earth to teach us the richness and vastness of his love, and the power of his spirit so that we could believe and trust in him in one minute and the next forget he even existed. Jesus came to this earth to die for us. We must put our faith in him and trust that he truly wants what is best for us.

In all things we know that God can be trusted, and He will do all He has promised to do.  If you want to cultivate authentic faith – you must ask the question:  Do I trust God with the critical areas of my life.  And this idea is our first checkpoint.

Freedom From Perfection

by Whitney Jones

What is perfectionism?

“Perfectionism is the need to be – or to appear – perfect. Perfectionists are persistent, detailed and organized high achievers. They vary in their behaviors; some strive to conceal their imperfections, others attempt to project an image of perfection. But all have in common extremely high standards for themselves or for others.” according to Gordon Flett, professor of psychology at York University in Toronto.

I am always striving for perfection. Perfectionism is difficult to overcome, because it seems being perfect is what is expected. Be a supermom and pour into my children daily. Be without clutter and make sure my house is in tip top shape. Be a wife and spend quality time with my husband. Be a fulltime everything–wife, mother, career woman. And work out, and be happy at all times. That is a lot to ask of one person. But we still feel like we must reach this level of excellence to fit into this world.

 But sadly I am not perfect. I fail daily. I fail at being a wife, mother, career woman. Being perfect is something I will never obtain. One way that has helped me get over the guilt when my life feels messy and far from perfect is to focus on what God has done and is doing in my life.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

2 Corinthians 12:9

 Freedom from perfection comes when I surrender my need for being perfect and rest in Him.

So today, I’m making a promise to myself, which I may need to make again tomorrow. To not let myself be burdened by what this world considers “perfect”. Accept that I am weak. Accept that I need Christ daily. Accept that Christ came into this world to save me.

Will you make this promise to gain freedom from perfection?