Affirmation: Physical Touch

by Devin Dummel

I never knew a kiss could be so powerful.  Raising two boys is immensely challenging and immeasurably fun.  Every day we are creating new worlds with our imaginations, telling stories and becoming heroes.

But as you would expect with all of the saving of the worlds we create together, our boys manage to find themselves in some pretty dangerous situations.  The end result: lots of bumps, bruises, scrapes and cuts.

What we have discovered, as we have learned to parent, courageous and clumsy boys is when the tears start to flow, most of the time all their wounds need is just one perfectly placed kiss from mom or dad.  After that, we are transported back to a land of make believe, and back to our adventures.

Humanity has long known the emotional power of physical touch. It’s something that’s built into our DNA. That's why we pick up babies and touch them tenderly.  That’s why we rock them for hours on end.  And, yes that’s why our magic kisses can heal most wounds.  Long before an infant understands the meaning of the word love, he or she feels loved by physical touch.

The benefits of physical touch have been extensively studied.  Findings have shown that physical touch reduces stress and relieves pain.   These studies have also shown that physical touch is one way in which all people young and old find comfort and affirmation.

When your child is young it can be much easier to affirm them through physical touch.  It’s easier to hold, carry and rock a three year old than a thirteen year old.  But just because your child is growing up, it doesn’t mean that they don’t need to be affirmed by your loving touch.

From high fives to hugs, wrestling to racing, and sports to snuggling – there are so many ways for parents to affirm their children through physical touch.  These actions of affirmation remind your child that:

·        They are liked and loved.

·        They are not alone.

·        They have someone who will spend time with them.

·        That they are accepted just the way they are.

I know there will come a day, when my boys are tired of playing pretend adventures with me.  I know a day is coming when they will no longer want my kisses.   I am aware that there will be a time where I can’t kiss or hug the pain away from their lives.

But I am committed to making sure that a day will not come  where they will question that I love them, where they wonder if they are alone, where they feel as if they don’t matter, or that they need to change who they are to have my love and support.

For now it’s hugs and magic kisses.  Before long it will be playing catch and shooting baskets.  And someday (hopefully a lifetime away from now) it will be a lasting embrace as I say goodbye after a wonderfully long day of playing pretend adventures with my grandchildren.