We’ve all witnessed a child throwing a tantrum—screaming, crying uncontrollably, or even being violent, all because she didn’t get to do what she wanted. These situations can be extremely difficult to handle and often embarrassing for parents. But what do you do when it’s your child that is completely out of control?
Discovering that your little angel has suddenly grown horns and is no longer as innocent as you thought can be one of the most frustrating moments in parenting, especially if you are caught off guard or when you have no idea what to do.
Most parents understand, that what you do in those difficult situations is crucial to helping your child be successful in life, but many parents do not know where to begin. In fact, most parents don’t think about the necessity of teaching their children self-control until they are face to face with their own child’s wild behavior.
Self-control isn’t just a character trait that some kids have and some kids don’t. We all learn self-control. Which is why self-control is often referred to as a discipline. We have to practice self-control in order to become more in control of ourselves.
Dictionary.com defines self-control as the control or restraint of oneself and one’s actions/feelings. From a Christian perspective, we can define self-control as saying “no” to ungodliness or worldly passions. The Bible tells everyone to be self-controlled, and when we choose to have the Holy Spirit live within us to guide us, God helps us to maintain self-control. Self-control is one of the fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23), and the fruit of the Spirit are indicators for us to see if we are living Godly lives.
I believe that when we teach our kids self-control we are setting them up to win, and giving them one of the greatest keys to becoming successful in all areas of life. Psychologists and Sociologists have directly linked children with better self-control to things like making better grades in school, thriving socially and making friends easily, managing their time well, being respectful to authority figures and peers, being hard workers, and settings goals to improve or achieve something they desire. Every parent wants their kids to succeed and live fulfilling lives, and when we teach them the Bible principles about self-control we are setting them up for HUGE wins as they mature and transition into adults.
Most parents are already teaching their children self-control because you are teaching them to take care of themselves or work toward goals— like saving money to buy something they want or studying to earn better grades, or even practicing the sport they love to improve their skills. You also teach self-control when you make them eat their vegetables before dessert. However, in order to teach your kids a more complete Biblical definition of self-control, you must first get your kids to understand their own weaknesses and temptations.
Each one of us is different. Some of us are tempted by overeating, greed, gossip, lying, stealing, while others are angered easily and lash out before thinking. Help your children understand that by being aware of what tempts us, we can take our struggles to God. One of the best ways to start is by sharing some things you struggle with. After they understand what their weaknesses and temptations are you can work together to come up with an action plan to handle the temptations and weaknesses when your child is faced with those things because our desires tempt us every day. And know that they trust you because you are their parents, and what you teach them matters. Even if you don’t see immediate results, we are charged to raise them to understand what is right trusting that God will work everything out for His glory.
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