March Madness - Consistency

by Desi Ash

March Madness. For basketball fans it means filling out your bracket and watching lots of games. For non-basketball fans it could mean being annoyed with trying to keep track of who’s cheering for who or trying to engage in conversations you could care less about. For us, the next gen team, we are using the month of March to talk about things that drive parents crazy; the things that frustrate, irritate, and push buttons, and how you can use those things to leverage opportunities with your kids.

This week we are talking about consistency.

Consistency in my life as a kid meant my parents following through with my speech development. As I learned to speak my parents had to be consistent with correcting me and helping me with my speech homework. Without the consistency I would take steps backwards and we all would be very frustrated as I tried to communicate correctly. Working on correct pronunciation was annoying and infuriating and there weren’t times I wanted to take a break. Learning to talk was a year round process from the age of three through fifth grade. My speech teachers were able to tell when the work at home was consistent and when it wasn’t.

Now in working with preteens I am quickly reminded how important consistency is. When the schedule changes and throws preteens for a loop it causes them anxiety and causes me stress because they are continually asking what’s next. When the day is consistent they know what to expect next and what I expect from them during that time.

How have you seen consistency throughout your parenting? Maybe it’s the bedtime routine that has way too many steps and drives you crazy. Or maybe it’s the same after school argument of getting your kids to do their homework instead of playing video games. Maybe it’s being consistent with the potty training process and handling accidents as teaching opportunities instead of with disappointment.

Being consistent isn’t easy. It can be trying, make you short tempered, and seem pointless. Not only do you need to be consistent with what you do, you and your spouse also need to be consistent.

I remember as a kid knowing which things to ask mom if I wanted permission for and which things to ask dad for permission. If it was sports related it was a dad question. Anything else went to mom. Luckily for me, the inconsistency of my parents let me do things the other wouldn’t have agreed on. Was it wrong for me to take advantage of the situation? Possibly, but as a kid I was just leveraging the situation.

You can let these things drag you down or you can look at the big picture. Two verses come to mind when I think about being consistent and the battle that comes along with it.

Galatians 6:9-10 The Message

So let’s not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don’t give up, or quit. Right now, therefore, every time we get the chance, let us work for the benefit of all, starting with the people closest to us in the community of faith.

Matthew 5:33-37 The Message

 “And don’t say anything you don’t mean. This counsel is embedded deep in our traditions. You only make things worse when you lay down a smoke screen of pious talk, saying, ‘I’ll pray for you,’ and never doing it, or saying, ‘God be with you,’ and not meaning it. You don’t make your words true by embellishing them with religious lace. In making your speech sound more religious, it becomes less true. Just say ‘yes’ and ‘no.’ When you manipulate words to get your own way, you go wrong."

Paul says it so well when he uses the phrase: don’t allow yourself to get fatigued. Being consistent is hard work, but that hard work is worth it. Each time you say homework before video games you are building consistency. Each time you go through the 52 steps in the bedtime routine that only needs three you are showing your kids they matter. Being consistent shows them that your word matters and that you are going to follow through with what you say. At the end of the day, being consistent helps kid become better adults.

So next time you are exhausted and want to give in, don’t. Stick it out, be consistent, and remember the big picture. In the long run being consistent is worth it.