Checkpoint 3: Moral Boundaries

by Whitney Jones

As we raise our children there are is an incalculable number of things that we will teach them.  These skills cover a wide range of the human experience, from how to feed yourself, how to use the toilet, how to make friends, how to drive, and even how to mend a broken heart.

But one of the most important things you can teach your child to do is to establish clear moral boundaries.  We live in a world and a culture that constantly shifts what the boundaries of right and wrong are.  An in the postmodern world we live in, sending your child out into adulthood without helping them form some clear moral boundaries is one of the dangerous things we as parents can do.

Without clear moral boundaries as a guide, our children will go beyond the natural boundaries that God has established and experience the harsh reality of the consequences of sin.  Any parent would want to save their child from as much unnecessary pain, heartache and suffering – the best way to do that is to set them up to succeed by establishing a clear internal moral compass.

According to  Dana Gresh, writer of The Secret Keeper – The Delicate Power of Modesty, “Teens who are exposed to a basic, age-appropriate, Bible-based value system between the ages of 8 and 12 tend to be less likely to engage in early sexual activity, substance abuse, and violence. They are also more likely to have healthy friendships, excel academically, and become positive social contributors in their communities.”        

That is something that all parents want for their children so it’s with this in mind, we want to make sure we are creating a strong value system for your child and instilling positive moral boundaries. We want to provide a safe place for your child to learn godly virtues and grow spiritually and we want to equip you so you can instill healthy moral boundaries in your child. 

BE A ROLE MODEL

One way you can help your child have positive moral boundaries is by being a positive role model for your child. Children automatically tend to imitate their parents. What you teach them will mean little if you don’t practice what you preach. Any inconsistency or compromise with godly standards will undermine your effectiveness.

BE SURE TO DIALOGE

Another way you can instill positive moral boundaries in your child is by dialoging constantly with your child. Silence sends a message to your child. If you are too embarrassed to talk about anything sexual, that sends a negative message that there is something shameful about our bodies and sexuality. Children will be reluctant to ask questions or discuss anything with their parents that they think might embarrass them.

Sharing truth from the Bible is another way you can help your child have positive moral boundaries. 

In 1 Corinthians 6:18 it says, “Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.”

Let your kids know that God created sex to be a beautiful essential ingredient of marriage, but sexual sin, sex outside of marriage, always hurts someone. It hurts God because it shows that we prefer following our own desires instead of the leading of the Holy Spirit. It hurts others because it violates the commitment so necessary to a relationship. Our children need to know that sexual sin only hurts them.

PRAY

Lastly, pray for your child daily. Pray that the church will be a safe place for them to have fun and form relationships. Pray that you will be a positive role model for them. Pray that you will have the right words to say to them at the right time. Pray that they will establish and maintain moral boundaries.

We believe that purity paves the way to intimacy.  Through establishing clear godly moral boundaries in the life of your child, you will pave the way for them to have a closer more intimate relationship with God.   All paths have a destination, and if you want your child to have a healthy and intimate relationship with God ten years from now, it starts today by helping them establish clear moral boundaries.  You have more influence than your realize, but even in this vital task you are not alone. The church is here to help you accomplish your goal.