by Leah Dummel
Can I get a shout out to dads these
days? Because, man, are they embracing
fatherhood. That’s not to say that dads of past generations didn’t embrace
fatherhood, not at all. But I think there has definitely been a distinct
culture shift in the past 10-15 years and especially so in the past 5 years
about the “role “of dads, and how they contribute to raising children. What I
mean is, you would probably have to look really hard in the 1970s to find a dad
grocery shopping with his kids’ solo, cooking meals and waiting in carpool
lines, and BABY WEARING. Oh my goodness the number of dads I see toting their
little ones around in slings are so heartwarming! These men “get it”. They know
and understand and execute the idea that they are not simply there to “babysit”
their children. They aren’t there to just keep them alive until mom gets home.
They are helping build a foundation for their children, and it starts at birth,
not just when the kids are heading off to Kindergarten.
We as parents owe it to our kids to
try our best to be in thrive mode, not just survive mode. This can be hard,
really hard. My husband and I are in a season of parenting two young boys (age
5 and age 2). We just NOW feel like we are coming out of survive and into
thrive. When you are in the thick of - up all night and potty training and
tantrums, some days it seems impossible to do anything except survive. With our
children being so young right now, sometimes it feels impossible to wrap our
heads around teaching them about Christ, and who God is, and what He is doing
in our life. But what we do every week matters! Every day before we part as a
family to go into the world, we try to tell our boys the same phrase. We tell
them, “Be brave, because YOU are a child of God. But be KIND, because everybody
else is too”. It isn’t heavy, it isn’t complicated. And yes, sometimes our 2 year
old son looks at us like we are nuts. But we have done our best to tell them
this every day, and to help them understand what it means and what it looks
like. It may seem like what you do every week falls on deaf ears, but then one
day before heading out the door to Pre-K, your 4 year old son will look at you
and say, “You have told me about being kind today mama, will you tell me about
being a child of God”, and you and your husband will look at each other and
nearly weep out of joy that you haven’t been falling on deaf ears, but what you
have been teaching your children and trying desperately to live out for them to
see, has made an impact!
Paul tells us in the book of 2
Timothy 3:15, “You have been taught the
Holy Scriptures from childhood, and they have given you the wisdom to receive
the salvation that comes by trusting in Christ Jesus”. This scripture is so important for parents to
digest. Because what we do in every phase of our children’s lives matter.
Salvation doesn’t happen on accident. Jesus intentionally seeks us out, knocks
on our heart’s door, and begs to be let in. As our children grow and enter into
new phases and seasons of life, it’s imperative we shepherd them in a direction
that points to Jesus. When they are tiny like our sons, maybe it looks like
teaching them to treat every person as a child of God, with love and kindness.
As they become pre-teens maybe it looks like leading them in a daily Bible
study. When they’re in high school, maybe you are serving together and actively
living out scripture side by side. The important thing is, our children look to
us; at all ages and all phases of life. We must show up for them.
“It takes a Village” is a phrase I
heard a lot growing up but I never really understood. I found it a little confusing
because to me it sounded like a “village” was just a bunch of people who were
being nosey telling you how to raise your kids. WRONG. Now that I have my own
village, I know better. Being a part of a “village” simply means every kid
matters. You have a group of trusted and loving adults you can call on in the
event you can’t physically or emotionally handle something regarding your
child. The “village” has been around for a long time! Hebrews 12:11 says “Look after each other so that none of you
fails to receive the grace of God”. We must be the spiritual village for our
children too! We can’t simply pick up our friend’s kid from soccer practice
when they have to work late, or set an extra place at our table for the
neighbor boy. Those things are good, so good! But our villages must also be
pointing our children to Jesus in tangible ways. We belong to each other, and
every child, not just our own, matter in the kingdom!
“Don’t miss it, babe”, is a phrase I
have heard my husband gently whisper to me over the last 5 years of parenting.
I often get discouraged quickly when things get hard, and I have a real hard
time taming my temper. I am a work in progress, like all of us. There have been
moments recently where our 2 year old is on his 118th temper tantrum
of the day, this one at my feet in the kitchen while I am trying to prepare a
meal and at the same time our 5 year old is asking his 1,546th
question of the day. While these things don’t seem tragic or hard on paper, we
all know that at 6pm when they are happening we are just one more question and
one more tear away from a meltdown ourselves. I tend to say things in those
moments like, “I will just be so happy when this phase is over” and Husband
sweetly reminds me that this is probably the easiest parenting will ever be,
there is something precious and frustrating in these actions from our children,
and not to miss out on these moments by wishing them away.
Ecclesiastes
3:2 reminds us of seasons. “For everything there is a season … a time to
plant and a time to harvest”. The time we are given with our children,
whether they are 2 or 17, is a time to plant. Plant the deep roots of Jesus’
love and grace, and when we stay present during the planting season, the
harvest will be beautiful. Your children
are never too young, to start building a growing in Jesus. Remember it’s more than just babysitting,
it’s a foundation, and that’s something we just can’t afford to miss.
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