Friends: Counterfeit Friends

by Devin Dummel

On February 1, 2001 the police received a call from the Manager at Dairy Queen in Danville, Kentucky.  The manager, after counting the drawer the previous evening, discovered some counterfeit currency.

Upon further investigation, the police determined that a customer succeed in paying for a $2 order with a phony $200 bill featuring the picture of then President George W. Bush.  The fake currency even had a depiction of the White House with a lawn sign saying, “We like broccoli.”

Authorities say the cashier gave the culprit $198 change in authentic currency, stating that “at a distance the counterfeit money looks like a real bill.”  However, no U.S. currency has a picture of Bush, let alone a reference to liking broccoli.   Because there is no actual $200 currency, the culprit is not considered a counterfeiter,  although this “funny money” was able to let the culprit get away with nearly $200 and a bag of onion rings.

Counterfeit money is an interesting thing.  It may be valuable for a bit – depending on how much it looks like the real thing.  But eventually – someone is going to take one of those special markers – and discover that what they are holding isn’t real at all …

It’s a fraud.

The same can be said for counterfeit or fake friends … they may look like real friends until you get in a tough situation and you get thrown under the bus, abandoned, or burned. 

We believe that our friends are one of the greatest influences that we have in our lives.  Because of that truth, it’s vitally important that we help our children understand what healthy friendships look like.  It’s also important for us to help our kids be able to decipher what counterfeit and fake friends look like.

Here are a couple ways you can help your child discover if their friends are the real deal or just a lame imitation of the real thing:

Counterfeit friends consistently demonstrate …

1.     DESTRUCTIVE behavior 

Proverbs 13:20 says, “Walk with the wise and become wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.”

If your friends are doing things that you know are heading in the wrong direction.  In they are risky and dangerous.  In they are consistently rebellious, pushing the boundaries and maybe even doing things that are illegal.

If they are doing those things, then the truth is they are not your friend.  They do not care about you or what happens to you … if they did, they wouldn’t put you in situations that make you uncomfortable, or that could cause you danger or harm.

If you have a friend who only cares about themselves, or the thrill of pushing the envelope … they are not a real friend.  They are as fake as they come.

Also, counterfeit friends often …

2.     Lack CONVICTION.

 Proverbs 18:24 says this,  One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

If you can’t count on your friends to stand up for what’s right then eventually you will end up in ruins. If our greatest influences are our friends … and if they never stand up for something … then we will fall for anything.

Real friends are friends who listen to the Holy Spirit and are convicted – and they help us stay accountable as well.

Real friends are friends that we give “refrigerator rights”  … what I mean by that is if they walked your house … they wouldn’t have to ask to get in the fridge and grab something to eat or drink.

In the same way that you have friends who you are close enough to get in your fridge … we need to allow our friends … who stand up for what’s right … speak into you lives and help us be who God made us to be.

Provers 27:6 says, “Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.”

Meaning – your real friends will call you out, and you may not agree but you can trust them – because you know they have your best interest at heart.

Finally, counterfeit friends …

3.     Lack  MUTUAL concern.

Fake friends normally just care about what you can do for them.   They aren’t too concerned about what you want to do or what you think is right.  They are in charge and you are along for the ride … as long as you are useful to them.

But real friends … care for each other … they stick closer than brothers.   They look out for each other and they sacrifice for each other.

If you have a friend like that … then you know you have a real friend.  Friendship is a two way street, and if you have a friendship that doesn’t feel like it goes both ways … then likely you are stuck with a phony friend.

It’s our responsibility to make sure that the “friends” our kids are hanging out with and being influenced by are the real deal.  We can’t accept every $200 bill that someone hands us.   We need to help the next generation guard their hearts and discover what a real friend looks like.

Proverbs 12:26 says, “The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.”  Let’s make sure our kids carefully choose who they are surrounded by and let’s help them discover what it means to be a real friend to everyone around them.