Checkpoints: Ultimate Authority

by Devin Dummel

Recently, I’ve been thinking about and talking about paths, not just the paths that you drive on your go for a walk on, but the paths of our choices.   When you think about it, every choice is a path.  Each choice you make sends you in a direction that ultimately has a destination. 

The challenge becomes trying to choose the right paths.  And in a world full of many voices directing us to many conflicting paths, it can be very difficult to know that you have chosen the path that will take you where you want to go.

As adults if we struggle to find the right paths and make the right choices, how much more difficult must it be for our children who are young and inexperienced.  They look to us to see how to navigate different situations and experiences.  They watch how we handle our emotions and how we react to the many difficult circumstances we experience.

So it’s critical that not only we discover how to choose the right paths, but that we also help our children end up in the places they want to be in life.  This can be very difficult to accomplish.  But it is not impossible.  All too often we forget that we have been given tools to help us end up on the right paths.

If you’ve ever been camping, or been on a hike then maybe you’ve found that compass can be a helpful tool when you aren’t sure if you’re headed in the right direction.

 A compass is an instrument used for navigation and orientation that magnetically points north.  It doesn’t need any batteries to work and it’s not something that is prone to “user error”, it simply always points north.

God has given us a tool that can help us navigate life successfully.  And when we use it we can be confident that we will avoid any unnecessary heartache and pain.  God desires for us to experience the best of life and that only happens when we accept Him as the ultimate authority in our lives.

Too often we view freedom and authority as opposing concepts. But the Bible teaches that true freedom is found under authority. This principle focuses on our need to recognize God’s ultimate authority and respect the other authorities He has placed over us.

Paul says in Romans 12:1-2

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

We believe that it is crucial to help your child discover God and His word as the ultimate authority in their lives.  It is vital to teach them that even in a world full of advice and suggestions on which path is the best to take, God’s way is always the best we. We need to help our kids understand that maximum freedom is found under God’s authority.

This truth is something that they will first learn through watching us practice it and live it out in our homes, in our schools, in our churches, and in our communities.  It’s time to quit worrying about what anyone else says and start focusing on what God says in every area of our lives.  When that happens, we will know we are on all the right paths. 

Checkpoints: Wise Choices

by Desi Ash

Right before my freshman year of high school I made a promise to myself. The promise was that I wasn’t going to drink alcohol until I was 21 and I wasn’t going to have sex until after I was 19. I partly made this promise because I didn’t want to repeat the cycle of my biological mother, who gave birth to me, her second child, at the age of nineteen. While I didn’t fully understand what this promise would keep me from doing, I knew that it would set me up for a good future.

This promise made me very cautious of not only my friends but my surroundings. I didn’t go to parties and I barely dated anyone because I didn’t want to be put in the situation where I could have broken my promise.

I wasn’t forced to make this promise and honestly, it’s a promise I hardly ever talk about it. Looking back, this promise was a wise choice that I made that helped set me up for success.

Our next checkpoint, key ideas we see as essential to the spiritual foundation for every child, is Wise Choices.

Wisdom comes from experience- time and maturity, something that kids don’t have through childhood. Many time kids don’t want to ask you for advice because they think adults just don’t understand. What they don’t know is that adults have lived through very similar situations.

You can help open up the dialogue with your kids by being open and sharing your own experiences. Why do you know that being alone with the opposite sex isn’t the best idea or the way your friends influenced you.

Isn’t of trying to answer the question of “how far is too far” (not just when it comes to sex), how about rewiring your kids to ask “is this the wise thing to do?”

Paul says in Ephesians 5:15-17:

Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.

We believe that it is crucial to help your child discover the ability to make wise choices.  It is vital to teach them how to navigate their culture and their world – which will always be full of difficult decisions. We need to help our kids understand the trouble that is out there before it crosses their path so they won’t question what is right or wrong, but they will know the wise thing to do.

Remember that making wise choices throughout childhood can be a huge struggle because there are times when the wise choice means you miss out on fun. What God has in store for the next generation is far better and more fun than any party or bad decision they could make now. 

Checkpoint #4: Healthy Friendships

by Devin Dummel

When I was younger, I had a friend whose name was Jason and I spent a ton of time at his house.  Jason was a good friend and I had fun with him, but if I’m honest most of the time I went to Jason’s because his house was awesome.

He had a pool and a big screen TV.  We would stay up late and play Nintendo and eat all kind of snacks – like hot pockets and pizza bagels.  It really was the best.

But one thing that put Jason’s house over the top – that made it better than all my other friend’s houses – was Jason’s family had pets.

And I don’t mean your cute kitten, fluffy dog kind of pets – I mean like real pets … weird stuff – like wombats and bullfrogs and lizards.  For a while they even had a really big snake- I think it was a python.

But out of all of the pets that Jason had, my favorite was the Chameleon.  When he first told me what it was I had no idea.  I had never heard of a Chameleon – and I didn’t even know what they did.  But once I saw it – I thought it was one of the coolest things I have ever seen.

Do you know what a Chameleon can do?  A chameleon can change the color and pattern of its skin just based on what it touches.  It has this unbelievable ability to camouflage itself – no matter it’s surroundings.

I’m a “how it works kind of person” so my first reaction to this sort of thing is to figure out how this happens.  How it works is the Chameleon’s skin has a superficial layer which contains pigments, under that layer are special cells that change for various reasons which affect which pigment of light gets reflected.

You know sometimes I think we live our lives like we have Chameleon Skin.  We have this superficial layer, and we adjust what other people see – in order to fit in and convince people to like us and want to be around us.

When you are the Chameleon it’s hard to realize that you keep changing colors, but to everyone else watching it’s really obvious.

My mom used to tell me that she knew exactly who I had been spending my free time with – like what group of friends.  When I asked her how she knew this she said – she would notice how I would talk, or what I would wear.  She would notice how I would change and then she could pin point exactly who I was hanging out with.

My mom picked up on this really big – universal truth … this God principle that is directly connected to friendship. She didn’t put these words to it – but she understood it.  And it’s a truth and principle about friendship that stands the test of time.  And she’s not the first or the last to notice it … Solomon one of the ancient kings of Israel said it this way:

 “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.” - Proverbs 13:20 

This week we continue sharing about the seven checkpoints, the key ideas we see as essential to the spiritual foundation for every child. Our next checkpoint is Healthy Friendship.

The people we associate with the most will have a direct impact on the decisions we make and the standards we choose.  Healthy friendships build us up and draw us closer to God; unhealthy friendships bring us down and cause us to compromise what we know is right.

One foundational checkpoint in the life of every child is to discover how to establish healthy friendships and how to navigate out of and around unhealthy ones.

 Solomon understood that those who want to be wise surround themselves with other wise people.  But those who surround themselves with unhealthy friendships will often find frustration, pain, suffering and harm.

The principle behind this truth about friendship is, your friends will determine the direction and the quality of your life.

As a parent you likely know just how true this statement is, and you already are concerned about the friends that your child spends their time with.  Many things will come and go like phases in the life of your child – however the impact a friend has is not one of those things.

We believe that it is crucial to help your child discover what healthy friendships look like and how to form them.  We know that it’s vital to teach them what to do to get out of and avoid unhealthy friendships.   And intuitively we know that what might be of greatest importance is teaching them how to be the friend who helps others find and follow God.

Remember their friends will determine the direction and quality of their life.  So help them choose their friends wisely.