Luke 23:42-43
John 16:33 Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.
This month at VBS we taught our children that in all circumstances, Jesus rescues. When they worry, when they’re lonely, when they feel powerless, and when they struggle. I was able to have a lot of good conversation, especially with our oldest son, around these topics. However, the one that really got him talking and me thinking was “when you do wrong…Jesus rescues."
Now, if you know our oldest son Declan, you know he is an all-around pretty good kid! But he was able to be very vulnerable with me and share how sometimes he struggles to not make bad behavior choices when playing with other kids and how he told a lie because he thought his parents might be upset with his choice (couldn’t get him to confess the lie, but baby steps). He also explained that sometimes when his little brother is acting out or throwing a tantrum he feels “mean feelings” towards him. I was able to talk him through all these scenarios and help him name those mean feelings and illustrate how Jesus is there to rescue him when he does those wrong things.
I was feeling pretty good as a mom if I am completely honest. But THEN … he asked the loaded questions. “Mommy, what are things Jesus has to rescue you from that you do wrong?” I froze. Devin and I both believe in being honest and authentic with our kids. We want, as they grow up, for them to see us and feel we are approachable, relatable and safe. And we believe that one way of creating that culture is being honest with them and not having many secrets with our own mistakes. Otherwise, we risk them putting us on a pedestal and being unable to talk and share their struggles with us.
But when you make this choice to be so vulnerable you also have to use discretion and boundaries. For instance, it would have been wildly inappropriate for me to say, “Well, I need Jesus to rescue me when I do wrong when I am knee deep in toys, laundry, and diapers and there’s yogurt in my hair and you haven’t stopped asking me all the questions and your brother hasn’t’ spoken a non-hateful non-tantrum word and your dad is frustrated because he can’t get a word in because of all the chaos and I can’t concentrate and I’m 40lbs overweight and the dog needs to be fed and I feel like I have lost who I really am and I think to myself WHY DID WE EVER HAVE CHILDREN?!”
I mean, am I right though? Parents raise your hand if you have ever said those words or something similar in your head during those heated and stressful moments of parenthood…you can’t see but I am raising both my hands right now. And yes, maybe when he’s 31 and in the thick of parenting himself, I will share my need for a rescuer in those moments, but sitting at the table with him here at age 6, I will not.
But I can tell you what I did do. I very delicately told him that mommy needs Jesus to rescue her all the time. Declan is a smart kid, he’s a feeler, he’s an empath, he’s an old soul, and he just GETS it. So I shared with him in a very age-appropriate way about this new found anxiety I have developed since becoming a mother of 2. I told him every day I pray for Jesus to rescue me from it because when I let it control me, I make bad choices. I yell at my kids, I say harsh words, I withdraw from my husband, and I withhold love from my family.
We talked about all those things, and he was brave enough to tell me that he is old enough to recognize when my anxiety takes over and those ugly things come spilling out. He even sweetly offered to warn me when he sees me getting worked up and feeling “scared” so he can help me…which is not his burden to bear but his heart is SO good. It wasn’t a long conversation and I didn’t use the exact words with him that I used in this blog. But what I did try to emphasize was that at every age and every season in life, our need for a Savior, MY need for a Savior, is so great.
It made me remember the story from Luke 23 about the criminal that hung on the cross next to Jesus, who asked Jesus to remember him when He came into His Kingdom. The criminal recognized his need for a Savior and asked to be rescued. He said a strong YES. He always does. He always will.
As parents, one of our duties and greatest responsibilities is to model Christ’s love to our children. And guess what, we aren’t going to be perfect at it. We will fail. But I am learning that when our babies see us acknowledge our need for Jesus’s great rescue, they are WAY more open to the idea that one day they will also need to ask to be rescued. So if you struggle with anxiety like me, or are a distracted parent, or whatever you are struggling with in this parenting journey, remember what we are teaching our children…that When we Do Wrong, Jesus Rescues.
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