Where Are You Christmas: Pain

by Desi Ash

Growing up I loved Christmas. Every year we would go to my grandpa’s house and celebrate with my mom’s side of the family. The celebration was a lot of fun. Gifts were given, food was eaten, laughs were many. There were never any complaints.  Not until the last time we all got together. Grandpa was really sick. Christmas was held at my aunt’s house instead. The laughs and presents were replaced with family photos with grandpa and people hiding their tears.

That was Grandpa’s last Christmas. He passed away right before my high school graduation. The next year I don’t think the family got together. My mom had moved so Christmas was brand new for us in many ways. New house, no big family Christmas, no Grandpa’s peanut butter fudge, it just wasn’t the same.

It’s been since Christmas 2005 that Christmas hasn’t been the same for me. The holiday spirit just isn’t the same. There’s just always been something missing.

Are you missing Christmas this year because something is missing? It could be from the previous year or even many years ago. A death of a loved one, a recent loss of job, or being separated from family, a new house, or change of any kind.

As we have been traveling through our Where are You Christmas series we have been with the Who’s and the Grinch. The Grinch really started hating Christmas when he was made fun at the class Christmas party. Trauma around the holiday can really make a person see the holiday in a new way.

Christmas is going to come and if we focus on how it is different we can let our hearts be hardened to the real reason we celebrate Christmas.

Remember that Christmas is more than the boxes and bags, the trees and the food. Christmas is about a baby born in Bethlehem. A baby, our Savior, our Wonderful Counselor, our Prince of Peace.  

The Grinch had to put up with his hate for Christmas for 53 years before he was able to see the bigger picture of Christmas. I am still currently waiting to let my heart grow and love Christmas again. What about you? Have you opened your heart to Christmas being different or are you still waiting?

This Christmas I challenge myself and you to not let the pain of the past cloud the beauty of Christmas this year. Embrace the grief and remember the true reason behind the Christmas celebrations. If you cannot enjoy Christmas, enjoy celebrating Jesus’ birthday. Let’s focus on our Savior because we do not want to miss Him.