Where Are You Christmas

By Leah Dummel

I am struggling this Christmas. I am specifically struggling this week before Christmas. I am struggling specifically with anxiety over the busyness of our daily life that isn’t leaving room for the “fun” busyness of Christmas traditions. We haven’t built gingerbread houses with the kids, we haven’t made it to Christmas at the Zoo, our Advent Box from church remains sitting on our counter with only a single envelope having been opened; and our other chalkboard Advent calendar remains unmarked with LAST YEAR’S CANDY still inside. So many things undone, so many memories left unmade. Our kids have taken turns being sick on and off for weeks, I am working 5 days/week for the first time since having children, my husband is currently (finally) on sabbatical from work but spent the months before working crazy hours to prepare. 

This week before Christmas is filled with normal daily life activities each night until Friday. Things like swim lessons and boy scouts and dog obedience class and Kindergarten Christmas programs. My boys are at the MOST MAGICAL ages (5 and 3) and I am just so worried we aren’t making enough memories and we aren’t creating the magic I expected we would. To say the least, my mental game is less than stellar and my expectations are not even close to being met.

I have been trying to be really intentional about breathing through the chaos and remaining grateful for what we have and who we have surrounding us. I have also been trying to focus on the fact that my mundane may be my boys’ magic. We have a few nativity scenes at our home but the one that has quickly become my favorite is our Little People Fisher Price plastic nativity scene. It’s low to the floor and in perfect reach of the kids. They play with it, they rearrange it, they stare at and ponder it, and they ask questions about it. I was watching our 3 year old play with the baby Jesus the other day and he was hugging it and talking to it and telling Jesus all about his day. And I got choked up and thought “THAT’S IT”! 

That is how Jesus wants us to not only approach Him, but the Christmas season. He wants us to hold Him close, to talk to Him, to come to Him as a child and spend tender authentic time with Him. And in that moment I realized I had been doing it all wrong. Yes, I love building Gingerbread Houses and building them with my children and the magic that brings. BUT, I loved even more the moment at bedtime last week where we sang Silent Night together and they asked me to explain the lyrics to them. I love Advent Calendars and the way they bring the entire family together even if just for a few moments each day. 

But I also love folksy Christmas music playing in the background while we say bedtime prayers and how the secular and the spiritual come together and mesh perfectly. I love that my kids are involved in activities that bring them joy each week but I can’t wait to tell them we are skipping swim lessons this week to bake cookies and watch a Christmas Movie (on a school night, what?!) because the spontaneity of that will create a whole new type of magic for them.

God is growing and stretching me in all sorts of new ways this year. I am continually shocked by His creative process of teaching me more about Him. I am learning to be still, to listen. I am learning to live each day on its own; and not as a constant foreshadow to the future. I am learning that what may seem disappointing and mundane to me could be a completely exciting and magical experience for my children. And I am learning that placing high expectations on the people in my life and the seasons of my life do nothing but create disappointment and pain.

My prayer for you and your family this week of Christmas is to embrace whatever may come your way. Cancel what needs to be cancelled in order to create more peace in your home. Let go of the expectations of the 5,678 things you “wanted” to do this Christmas season to create magic. Chances are, the stress of bringing those activities to life will cancel out the magic it may have created. Take the good with the bad. REST with each other and in God’s promise that began when He sent Jesus as a baby. And try to approach Jesus this season like my 3 year old approaches Jesus at his plastic manger scene. I promise, the magic will happen on its own and you and your children will learn more and enjoy this sacred season a hundred times more. 

Where Are You Christmas: Pain

by Desi Ash

Growing up I loved Christmas. Every year we would go to my grandpa’s house and celebrate with my mom’s side of the family. The celebration was a lot of fun. Gifts were given, food was eaten, laughs were many. There were never any complaints.  Not until the last time we all got together. Grandpa was really sick. Christmas was held at my aunt’s house instead. The laughs and presents were replaced with family photos with grandpa and people hiding their tears.

That was Grandpa’s last Christmas. He passed away right before my high school graduation. The next year I don’t think the family got together. My mom had moved so Christmas was brand new for us in many ways. New house, no big family Christmas, no Grandpa’s peanut butter fudge, it just wasn’t the same.

It’s been since Christmas 2005 that Christmas hasn’t been the same for me. The holiday spirit just isn’t the same. There’s just always been something missing.

Are you missing Christmas this year because something is missing? It could be from the previous year or even many years ago. A death of a loved one, a recent loss of job, or being separated from family, a new house, or change of any kind.

As we have been traveling through our Where are You Christmas series we have been with the Who’s and the Grinch. The Grinch really started hating Christmas when he was made fun at the class Christmas party. Trauma around the holiday can really make a person see the holiday in a new way.

Christmas is going to come and if we focus on how it is different we can let our hearts be hardened to the real reason we celebrate Christmas.

Remember that Christmas is more than the boxes and bags, the trees and the food. Christmas is about a baby born in Bethlehem. A baby, our Savior, our Wonderful Counselor, our Prince of Peace.  

The Grinch had to put up with his hate for Christmas for 53 years before he was able to see the bigger picture of Christmas. I am still currently waiting to let my heart grow and love Christmas again. What about you? Have you opened your heart to Christmas being different or are you still waiting?

This Christmas I challenge myself and you to not let the pain of the past cloud the beauty of Christmas this year. Embrace the grief and remember the true reason behind the Christmas celebrations. If you cannot enjoy Christmas, enjoy celebrating Jesus’ birthday. Let’s focus on our Savior because we do not want to miss Him. 

Where Are You Christmas: Misplaced Expectations

by Whitney Jones

A couple years ago, when I was pregnant for my daughter Ila, I lost sight of what Christmas was really about because of misplaced expectations.

It was Christmas morning and everything was ready to go. The presents were under the tree, the smell of monkey bread cooking in the oven, the lights on the tree, and the decorations throughout the house. Everything was perfect except for the fact that my 13 year old step daughter was not with us. This was the first year of Ryan and I being married that she was spending Christmas morning with her mom.

As I waited for Layla to arrive I became anxious and saddened by the thought of our Christmas not going as planned. It didn’t look like past Christmases. It didn’t feel like past Christmases. I expected our morning to go as it had every Christmas morning. We all wake up, watch each other open gifts, eat monkey bread together, and just simply enjoy one another.

Because our Christmas did not go as I had planned I started to get upset rather than seeing all of the many blessings. That Christmas I missed the true joy of Christmas because I was wrapped up in our Christmas morning not looking like I had planned it.

How many of you have lost sight of Christmas because of misplaced expectations? Maybe you expected 10 people to show up to your Christmas dinner party and only 6 showed up. Maybe you expected to have the perfect family Christmas card and neither of your kids are smiling in the picture. Maybe you were hunting for the perfect gift for your spouse and you ended up buying him another sweater. We are constantly missing the joy of Christmas because of unmet expectations.

Are you one of those people who have a tendency to expect perfection? Or are you a person that builds things up in your mind and expects everyone to fit your vision?

I will admit I am one of those people. Most of us are at some point. We are always trying to measure up to others and make everything perfect that we are losing sight of what is really important.

This December we have been watching clips from the movie The Grinch. All of Whoville expected the Grinch to be a big scary monster; and all of Whoville had been missing the fact, that Christmas could come without ribbons, that it could come without tags even without packages, boxes or bags.

This Christmas season I hope that your Christmas can come without all the perfect packages and expectations. I hope this Christmas you can find the love we find in Jesus, and joy we find in our family and friends.

Where Are You Christmas?

Researchers believe that the average American family will spend between $750 -$950 on Christmas this year.  If their math is right, that means we will spend hundreds of billions of dollars this Christmas season.  Have you ever slowed down to ask yourself, what’s the point?  Why does it seem that Christmas has become the season to spend instead of a season of celebration? 

During a season designed to focus around remembering and appreciating the birth of our Savior, a creeping kind of idolatry has consumed our culture and our communities.  Many of us are drowning in a sea of financial debt and endless lists of gifts to buy.  We are overwhelmed by the stress induced during this season that there is hardly any room left for worship in our hearts.

We’ve bought into the marketing lie that spending money is the best way to express love; so somehow, this has become the new normal.  This has become the “average” Christmas routine.  Every year people are wrapped up in the Christmas frenzy, and every year the Advent season is lost in the chaos that Christmas has become.

But as my favorite Christmas parable, the Grinch, reminds us Christmas has nothing to do with the presents; it’s about something else entirely.  If you recall, even though the Grinch stole all the gifts from the citizens of Whoville, it did not ruin their Christmas.

“He hadn’t stopped Christmas from coming, it came just the same.  It came without ribbons.  It came without tags.  It came without packages, boxes or bags.  Maybe Christmas the Grinch thought, doesn’t come from the store, maybe Christmas he thought perhaps means a little bit more.”

This Christmas season we are inviting you to ask the question, “What is Christmas all about?”, and to consider if we’ve filled it with too much of the wrong things, or placed expectations in the wrong places.  This Advent season we hope you will discover what makes this time of the year something to continually celebrate.