Prime Times: The First 15

by Devin Dummel

We have an unspoken rule in our home, and it has to do with how we behave and interact once our day is done.  I refer to it as “The First 15 Rule” – and simply put we decide to be intentional about how we spend those first 15 minutes that we are together as a family.

Life is crazy and if your family is anything like ours then you have all kinds of activities, responsibilities and expectations pulling you in different directions.  On their own each of these things are great, but when you allow them all to play out at the same time, there is often little room left for quality time.

Psalm 90:12 is a prayer that says, “Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”  The reality is our time on earth is short, and it’s easy to get distracted by good things and miss the best things.  That’s why we try to use our first 15 minutes together as a family wisely.

Our “First 15” are spent device free.  The television is off.  The phones are on silent.  Our focus isn’t on any outside distraction but totally on each other.  Our kids are pretty young right now, so our “First 15” start with the same types of questions:

• How was your day?
• Did you do anything fun or exciting?
• What did you learn today at school?
• Who did you play with?
• How was your heart?

My wife and I make it a point to ask our boys these types of questions each day.  We dig in and ask follow up questions to learn more about who they are spending time with, what kind of activates they are enjoying and overall how their behavior was while they were at school or the sitter’s.

After connecting with our children, we turn them loose to play with their toys.  But before we turn to other responsibilities – like dinner, laundry, etc.  – we turn our hearts to one another.

It’s easy to miss this moment if you are always running kids every direction.  You feel like you are always on a shot clock, just counting down the minutes left on each activity on your schedule.  While keeping your kids on schedule is important, perhaps the best thing you can do for your family is to make sure you take time for your marriage during those “First 15”.

Take time to make sure your spouse knows how much you care about them and about their heart as well.  Life isn’t just about the kids and their activities.  A healthy relationship between mom and dad is a solid foundation to raise a family on.  You must make time for each other, and it needs to be strategic. 

By taking time as soon as you get home to connect and communicate – you verify that what is most important is your spouse and your family.  Work can wait.  The game can wait.  Picking up and cleaning up can wait.  But what matters most are the bonds that are formed and affirmed each day when you come back together.

In the season of life you are in, you may feel like you don’t have a ton of time to pour into “date nights”.  It may not be cost efficient to fork our $100 or more for dinner and a movie.  But what you can do is make sure that you strategically number your days, by making the “First 15” minutes back together about building each other up and working together.

Prime Times: Drive Time

by Desi Ash

The next “prime time” you can utilize in your normal routine is Drive Time.

Growing up my brothers and I were always involved in something and my mom would joke that she was at times more a taxi driver than a mom. As a kid I would laugh and say something along the lines of well someone has to take us where we need to go. One thing my mom made sure to do when she was our “taxi driver” was to engage in conversation about our day or the practice we just left. This taught me to make good use of my time behind the wheel.

A 2016 survey released from the AAA Foundation for Traffic Safety reported that drivers traveled nearly 10,900 miles on average and spent more than 290 hours on the road.

So according to this study, on average as drivers we are spending roughly an hour a day behind the wheel. Of that hour how often are your kids in the car with you?

How are you using that hour to strategically set up your kids for success?

Technology has not only made it easy, but has encouraged the world to spend time in front of a screen. This is true in cars. Cars now have built in DVD players and iPod chargers and Bluetooth to connect directly to your phone for hands free calling.  

What if instead of everyone doing their own thing in the car, the car was used to engage with each other? What if instead of jamming out to music you spent time listening to what God is trying to tell you? What if instead of being bummed out to play “taxi driver” you instead took the time to get to know the hard stuff about being a kid?

If we shifted our mindset of our time behind the wheel, especially when our kids are in the car our drive time could become a time the whole family looks forward to.

Deuteronomy 6:7-9 from The Message states:

Write these commandments that I’ve given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night. Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder; inscribe them on the doorposts of your homes and on your city gates.

If I could add to this passage, I would add, talk about them in the car and inscribe them on the back of the headrests in your car.

I am not saying that jamming out to the oldies or watching a movie on a long road trip is wrong. I am saying that there are times when we are able to take advantage of being in an enclosed place with our kids that will make a difference in their lives.

Here are some tips to get your kids saying more than “it was fine”

• ·        Ask open ended questions. Instead of asking how their day was try asking what was the best or worst part of their day
  
• ·        Ask questions specific to where you are traveling to. If on your way to a practice ask one thing they hope to accomplish or hope they get to do.

Have little ones? Try some of these conversation starters

• ·        Let’s see how many different things God created on our way…
  
• ·        Teach them worship songs or scriptures by having them repeat after you

Spend lots of time traveling alone? Try spending time doing the following:

• ·        Pray for you family, as mentioned in last week’s post
  
• ·        Pray for the world, specifically the area you are traveling through
  
• ·        Jam out to a worship song, singing praise to God
  
• ·        Spend time in silence listening to God speak
  

The hour a day we spend behind the wheel doesn’t need to be dreaded, doesn’t need to be stressful. It can be a time used to engage with our kids and our heavenly Father.

Prime Times: Prayer Time

By Devin Dummel

We all know time is a limited resource.  This truth is one you discover quickly as a parent.  One moment you’re holding your bundle of joy wrapped tightly in your arms, the next you are helping them unpack for college.  As we say a lot around here, “It’s just a phase, so don’t miss it”.

Over the next few weeks, it’s our goal to help you capitalize on the time that you have to positively impact the lives of your children and the Next Generation.   In our next set of posts we will highlight some key times in your normal routine that when used strategically and wisely will ensure the future success of your child. 

The first strategic or “prime time” you can utilize is: Prayer Time.

Now later on we will talk about praying with your children.  But in this post we want to discuss how valuable it is to spend time in prayer FOR your children. 

Prayer is an important spiritual discipline and it can be easier for some than for others.  You may have a rich tradition of prayer in your family, or the extent to which your family prays right now might be to say grace before a meal.  Whatever your circumstance – it’s important to know that prayer is a crucial element to the life of a believer.

Through prayer God stretches us and grows us.  Prayer is our connection directly to God.  While He knows our thoughts and our hearts, He wants nothing more than to hear directly from us.  Put simply prayer is a conversation with God.

Scripture tells us that:

This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.  (1 John 5:14)

No matter if you feel like you are “good” at prayer or if you are just struggling your way through - the beautiful truth is God hears our prayers.  And the important thing isn’t how you pray – because there is not a “right” and a “wrong” way to talk to God. 

You can pray first thing in the morning.  You can pray on your drive to work (please keep your eyes open if you choose to do this).  You can pray for long periods of time or you can pray one sentence at a time.  You could even use the monthly Prayer Calendar tool that we’ve developed (CLICK HERE).  It doesn’t matter how you pray – what matters is that you choose to pray.

If you are anything like us, than most of what concerns you or worries you has to do with your children.  My wife spends time worrying about if they’ve had too much “screen time” or if they’ve eaten enough vegetables.    We discuss if they should be doing swim lessons or if they are ready to have a sleep over.  I even catch myself daily praying, “God, please don’t let me screw these kids up!”

If you are looking for one way that you can immediately make a difference in the life of your child, or in your family – taking advantage of the power of prayer could be just the thing you can do right now to make a big impact.

Paul told the believers in Philippi:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  (Philippians 4:6-7)

Time is a limited resource, free yourself and your family from the burden of worry and anxiety.  Spend time in prayer, talking to the Father about everything you are worried about.  Pray for your children – their current choices and their future decisions.  Leverage the prayer time in your life and let the peace of God rule in your heart and mind.