Let's Get 'Em Ready

by Devin Dummel

I have a friend who is extremely handy.  It seems like nearly every weekend he and his family are doing some sort of project.  It’s impressive what they are able to accomplish in a single weekend.  And the most rewarding part of the process for them has to be when they publish the side by side before and after picture.  It’s truly impressive to see their dream and vision become a reality.

Maybe you’re not as handy or as driven as my friends, but my guess is that in some area of your life you know what it’s like to complete a project.  It’s extremely rewarding and satisfying to see the final product or result from all your hard work.   Now I’m not sure how you typically start a project, but Stephen Covey famously said, “Begin with the end in mind.”  And while it seems simple to think this way, it’s revolutionary when you actually decide to begin with the end in mind with all your projects – home or otherwise.

Now what does this have to do with parenting?  Well I’m sure you’ve figured this out by now – Parenting is one heck of a project.  No matter what you do there are twists and turns that you can’t see ahead of time.  And unfortunately when you leave the hospital someone doesn’t hand you a “Baby Manual” that explains how to handle every situation from now until they graduate.  But the challenge for us as parents is to truly “Begin with the end in mind”.

Have you ever set time aside and thought about, what exactly do I want for my son our daughter?  What do I want them to know before they graduate high school?  What characteristic and qualities do I hope to instill in them before they head out on their own into the world?  These are important questions to answer, because I promise if you know where you are trying to go then it’s always easier to get there. 

Our goal in the Next Gen & Student Ministries at PCC is to create environments where children and students can explore and discover their own authentic faith.  Every plan, program and event is geared toward helping them ignite wonder, provoke discovery and fuel their passion.  To put it more simply when your son or daughter graduates high school, it’s our hope and prayer that alongside of you, we’ve helped get them ready for the next phase of their life.

This week as you faithfully work on your “parenting projects” remember to work with the end in mind.  Don’t just get through today, instead forecast for your son or daughter where you want to go.  Picture the difference in the before and after picture of your child’s life and help them discover all that God has made them to be. 

And remember that you are not alone in this challenging yet rewarding project.  You have a family of brothers and sisters in Christ who are just a text or phone call away.  They are another tool in your parenting toolbox, to help your children find their authentic faith.  So let’s begin with the end in mind and let’s work together!

Let’s Get ‘Em Ready!

There's Hope in the Middle

by Desi Ash

I loved my middle school years. Glenwood Middle School and I got along really well. I was a talented athlete, decent musician, and a hard working student. I pretty much was friends with everyone.

What most people don’t know about me is; middle school was when my life got drastically harder and I desperately wanted someone to see past the outer shell I had built. By eighth grade online chatting was the coolest thing (remember AIM?) and it was behind a computer screen that my so called friends told me how they truly felt about me. Telling me how unloved I was, how messed up my family was, and even told me to go kill myself. That outer shell I built was so sturdy that regardless of what they said I acted like I was fine, yet deep down I was hurting. Deep down I felt hopeless.

Jr. High, sixth, seventh, and eighth grade, those are hard years. Not only for the students living them, but for the parents parenting the students in this phase. Between the physical changes taking place in the body to the social challenges of being cool and fitting in, Jr High students and parents need to know there is hope.

There will be a time when:

• ·        Your sons don’t always smell bad
• ·        The grocery bill isn’t consistently growing
• ·        Your teenage daughter’s emotions are more stable
• ·        The drama settles down (well, eventually)

When I think of hope, I think of the two people on the road to Emmaus in the book of Luke. They are traveling away from Jerusalem talking about everything that just happened (Jesus’ death, burial, and resurrection). While they are walking Jesus comes up and starts walking with them. Jesus asks them in Luke 24:17-24

            “What are you discussing together as you walk along?” They stood still, their faces downcast. ¹⁸ One of them, named Cleopas, asked him, “Are you the only one visiting Jerusalem who does not know the things that have happened there in these days?” ¹⁹ “What things?” he asked. “About Jesus of Nazareth,” they replied. “He was a prophet, powerful in word and deed before God and all the people. ²⁰ The chief priests and our rulers handed him over to be sentenced to death, and they crucified him; ²¹ but we had hoped that he was the one who was going to redeem Israel. And what is more, it is the third day since all this took place. ²² In addition, some of our women amazed us. They went to the tomb early this morning ²³ but didn’t find his body. They came and told us that they had seen a vision of angels, who said he was alive. ²⁴ Then some of our companions went to the tomb and found it just as the women had said, but they did not see Jesus.”

Read verse 21 again: “but we had hoped that he was the one who was going to redeem Israel.” What have you hoped for? What have you hoped for for your jr high student?

These two people were so caught up in their feelings that they weren’t able to recognize who it was they were walking and talking with. And the same can happen during this Jr. high phase. We get so caught up in the drama, the emotions, and the challenging moments that we miss the bigger picture. We miss the moments were we are able to show our Jr Highers that someone cares about them and that they are able to make to a difference.

As Christians we have hope of what’s to come. John tells us in Revelation 21

            Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,” for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. ² I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. ³ And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ⁴ ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” ⁵ He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” ⁶ He said to me: “It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To the thirsty I will give water without cost from the spring of the water of life. ⁷ Those who are victorious will inherit all this, and I will be their God and they will be my children.

Don’t lose hope. God is making everything new. 

It's Not Complicated, It's Elementary

by Whitney Jones

Some of my favorite memories with my dad are the ones when he would tickle my brother and me until we laughed so hard we cried. Or the times he would put us in a wheel borrow and push us around the whole yard as fast as he could. My dad was always making us laugh with his jokes and his fun sense of being. He always knew how to get on our level and truly be with us. It wasn’t complicated and planned out. It was simple. He was just there to have fun in the moment.

Now that I am a parent, I find myself doing some of the same things my father did with me. Tickling my little girl on floor to hear her contagious laugh. Or snuggling on the couch with my teenager to watch her favorite movie together and eat junk food. I just love being in the moment with my children. The unplanned and uncomplicated moments, those are the times that matter most to our children and make the biggest impact in their life. 

When was the last time you got down on the floor with your child and got on their level by: playing a board game, coloring in their favorite coloring book, or playing a game of hide and seek? When was the last time you entered into their world?

You see Elementary school is a time of discovering how the world works and how to have fun in it. Our children want to laugh, play, learn and connect with others at this phase of life. That is why you as the parent have to engage in their interest. Not your interests, but their interests. You need to understand your child’s world if you want to have influence in their life.

C.S. Lewis said, “Children are not a distraction from more important work. They are the most important work.” Sometimes we have to put the “to do list” to the side and get our hands messy with our children to make the biggest impact in their life. We need to understand that raising children is more than waking up in the morning and getting through the day. It’s modeling to our children to love God and love others so that they can share Christ’s love with the next generation.  

In Matthew 18:2-6, Jesus is saying we should become like children:

2 He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. 3 And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. 5 And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.

Jesus used a child to help his self-centered disciples get the point. We are not to be childish but childlike, with humble and sincere hearts. The disciples had become so preoccupied with earthly things that they lost sight of the divine purpose of life.  Are you like the disciples? Have you lost sight of what’s really important in life?

I challenge you to start spending more time in the unplanned, uncomplicated moments with your child. Allow yourself to break free from the schedule and the “to do list” and just be with your child. I am sure you will learn something about yourself and your child which will build a stronger relationship between the two of you. Time is moving forward. So be present. Your child will not be little forever, but what you do for them today can give them a better future.

It's Not Babysitting, It's a Foundation

by Leah Dummel

Can I get a shout out to dads these days?  Because, man, are they embracing fatherhood. That’s not to say that dads of past generations didn’t embrace fatherhood, not at all. But I think there has definitely been a distinct culture shift in the past 10-15 years and especially so in the past 5 years about the “role “of dads, and how they contribute to raising children. What I mean is, you would probably have to look really hard in the 1970s to find a dad grocery shopping with his kids’ solo, cooking meals and waiting in carpool lines, and BABY WEARING. Oh my goodness the number of dads I see toting their little ones around in slings are so heartwarming! These men “get it”. They know and understand and execute the idea that they are not simply there to “babysit” their children. They aren’t there to just keep them alive until mom gets home. They are helping build a foundation for their children, and it starts at birth, not just when the kids are heading off to Kindergarten.

            We as parents owe it to our kids to try our best to be in thrive mode, not just survive mode. This can be hard, really hard. My husband and I are in a season of parenting two young boys (age 5 and age 2). We just NOW feel like we are coming out of survive and into thrive. When you are in the thick of - up all night and potty training and tantrums, some days it seems impossible to do anything except survive. With our children being so young right now, sometimes it feels impossible to wrap our heads around teaching them about Christ, and who God is, and what He is doing in our life. But what we do every week matters! Every day before we part as a family to go into the world, we try to tell our boys the same phrase. We tell them, “Be brave, because YOU are a child of God. But be KIND, because everybody else is too”. It isn’t heavy, it isn’t complicated. And yes, sometimes our 2 year old son looks at us like we are nuts. But we have done our best to tell them this every day, and to help them understand what it means and what it looks like. It may seem like what you do every week falls on deaf ears, but then one day before heading out the door to Pre-K, your 4 year old son will look at you and say, “You have told me about being kind today mama, will you tell me about being a child of God”, and you and your husband will look at each other and nearly weep out of joy that you haven’t been falling on deaf ears, but what you have been teaching your children and trying desperately to live out for them to see, has made an impact!

            Paul tells us in the book of 2 Timothy 3:15, “You have been taught the Holy Scriptures from childhood, and they have given you the wisdom to receive the salvation that comes by trusting in Christ Jesus”.  This scripture is so important for parents to digest. Because what we do in every phase of our children’s lives matter. Salvation doesn’t happen on accident. Jesus intentionally seeks us out, knocks on our heart’s door, and begs to be let in. As our children grow and enter into new phases and seasons of life, it’s imperative we shepherd them in a direction that points to Jesus. When they are tiny like our sons, maybe it looks like teaching them to treat every person as a child of God, with love and kindness. As they become pre-teens maybe it looks like leading them in a daily Bible study. When they’re in high school, maybe you are serving together and actively living out scripture side by side. The important thing is, our children look to us; at all ages and all phases of life. We must show up for them.

            “It takes a Village” is a phrase I heard a lot growing up but I never really understood. I found it a little confusing because to me it sounded like a “village” was just a bunch of people who were being nosey telling you how to raise your kids. WRONG. Now that I have my own village, I know better. Being a part of a “village” simply means every kid matters. You have a group of trusted and loving adults you can call on in the event you can’t physically or emotionally handle something regarding your child. The “village” has been around for a long time! Hebrews 12:11 says “Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God”.  We must be the spiritual village for our children too! We can’t simply pick up our friend’s kid from soccer practice when they have to work late, or set an extra place at our table for the neighbor boy. Those things are good, so good! But our villages must also be pointing our children to Jesus in tangible ways. We belong to each other, and every child, not just our own, matter in the kingdom!

            “Don’t miss it, babe”, is a phrase I have heard my husband gently whisper to me over the last 5 years of parenting. I often get discouraged quickly when things get hard, and I have a real hard time taming my temper. I am a work in progress, like all of us. There have been moments recently where our 2 year old is on his 118^th temper tantrum of the day, this one at my feet in the kitchen while I am trying to prepare a meal and at the same time our 5 year old is asking his 1,546^th question of the day. While these things don’t seem tragic or hard on paper, we all know that at 6pm when they are happening we are just one more question and one more tear away from a meltdown ourselves. I tend to say things in those moments like, “I will just be so happy when this phase is over” and Husband sweetly reminds me that this is probably the easiest parenting will ever be, there is something precious and frustrating in these actions from our children, and not to miss out on these moments by wishing them away.

Ecclesiastes 3:2 reminds us of seasons.  “For everything there is a season … a time to plant and a time to harvest”. The time we are given with our children, whether they are 2 or 17, is a time to plant. Plant the deep roots of Jesus’ love and grace, and when we stay present during the planting season, the harvest will be beautiful.   Your children are never too young, to start building a growing in Jesus.  Remember it’s more than just babysitting, it’s a foundation, and that’s something we just can’t afford to miss.