Love Who You Are

By Devin Dummel

Have you ever heard the phrase, “Treat someone the way you want to be treated.”  The idea is a simple yet compelling platitude.  As we interact with all kinds of people if we could just treat them the way we would like to be treated this world would be a better place.  It’s a great idea … but the problem is often our execution.

We struggle not just in the way we treat others but in the way we treat ourselves.  All too often we have a warped or distorted view of who we are and while we work desperately to love others in our lives we forget to first love ourselves.

We aren’t talking about making everything about you, or about making all of your wishes and desires the most important things in your life.  What we are talking about is loving who you are, embracing your God given identity and allowing that love to inform how you actually treat others.

Because if you can see yourself and love yourself through the correct lens you will be more likely to see others as they are and love them in spite of the faults and failure.

So let’s take a moment and remember a little bit about who YOU are …

YOU ARE ACCEPTED

Romans 15:7 - Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise God.

We tend to get caught up in trying to be accepted and loved by others, but Christ loves and accepts us right where we are.  And we are encouraged to love and accept not just ourselves but others as well in the same light – just as we are.  When we do this we are told that it brings praise directly to God.

YOU ARE SET APART

Jeremiah 1:5 – Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart …

You are unique and different … and that’s a good thing!  It’s part of God’s plan.  You are gifted and skilled and you have a purpose.  Never forget that God chose you to be YOU – and he wants to partner with you to bring hope, healing and love to the world.

YOU ARE FREE

Romans 8:1 – There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

If you have accepted Jesus as your savior, you are free.  You don’t carry the burden of all of your mistakes and sins.  Instead of worrying if you are good enough you can take comfort in knowing that Jesus has your back.

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We could go on and on with scripture after scripture confirming the truth about our identity.  The point is that in order to love the world – meaning our family, or friends, or workplace, our community, etc.  – We must first love ourselves.

We must begin to see ourselves the way that God does and love who we are just as God loves us … right where we are now.

How to Show Love to Your Kids

by Devin Dummel

As parents we all love our children, but depending on the phase that your child is in you may find it difficult to express your love for them in ways that they can tangibly understand and appreciate.

 

We all know that love isn’t a noun – it’s a verb.  We don’t have love we DO love – Love is a dynamic action. 

And because we know this it’s often not enough just to say “I love you”.  As the old adage goes, ‘actions speak louder than words’.   So when we want to demonstrate this dynamic love to our children how can we make sure we speak their love language.

All children are different, and are at different phases of life.  So how can you make sure you communicate your love during these different phases?

From Birth – Four Years Old

In this first phase of life, your child is motived by one thing – safety.  They want nothing more than to know you are present and that when they are afraid you will be there for them.  When they get hurt, they don’t want you to tell them to “rub some dirt on it”.  Your touch and your attention will heal any wound they experience.  So during this phase give extra time and attention make sure they feel safe and secure with you.

From Kindergarten – Fifth Grade

This phase is the “fun” phase; I don’t just say that because these years are full of fun, I say it because what motivates elementary age children more than anything is fun.  While you have likely had a hard day at work and you are dealing with pressures from every direction – your son or daughter just want to know that you will pretend with them, go play catch, or take them on an adventure.  If your children are in this phase, make sure you are taking a break from being “lord business” – get down on their level and have some fun.

From Sixth Grade – Eight Grade

There is only one thing that matters to a Middle School Student – fitting in.  The question they are asking themselves every day is “Do I belong?”  All they are looking for is a place to fit in.  To demonstrate your love for them make sure they know that you love them just the way they are.  Make sure that you remind them to be themselves, even as they try to fit in with every group imaginable.  They may try on a few personalities during this phase, but don’t lose heart – what they really want to know is that you love and accept them for who they are.

From Ninth Grade – 12^th Grades

This phase is a challenging one for parents.  It feels just like yesterday that you sent them off for their first day of Kindergarten.  And while it feels that way – the reality is your child is no longer a little baby.  They want one thing – freedom.  One of the reasons children and parents fight so much in this phase is the struggle over this single aim.  To help your child know and understand just how much you love them – teach them about freedom.  Notice we didn’t say “get them unlimited freedom”.  No there is far too much danger for a teenage with unlimited freedom.  Don’t give them unlimited freedom – instead teach them the responsibility of freedom and little by little as they earn your trust – show them how much you love them by giving them their freedom.  The single thing to communicate to a teenager how much you love them – is to show them that you trust them.

 

Love is more than a word.  It’s more than a feeling, and as your child changes so too will your best way to communicate your love to them.  And while your world is a busy place, with your schedule and practices and getting everything done that you want to get done; and although you feel like you are at times traveling a whirlwind speed, make sure you slow down enough … not just to say “I love you” – but to speak the language of your children and show them you love them through safety, fun, acceptance and freedom. 

Love is ...

by Desi Ash

God is love. What does that mean?

            Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

God is patient and kind. God is not easily angered and doesn’t keep a record of wrongs. God always protects and God always perseveres.

-1 Corinthians 13:4-7

When I read First Corinthians and think about God that way, it is a powerful image. I think of the ways that I have screwed up and how God doesn’t hold any of those mistakes against me. I think of the times I have wanted to give up and felt alone but am reassured that God was there wrapping His loving arms around me.

This passage isn’t just about God. It should also be about us. We should be love. Another translation (the Message) puts it this way:

            Love never gives up.

Love cares more for others than for self.

Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.

Love doesn’t strut,

Doesn’t have a swelled head,

Doesn’t force itself on others,

Isn’t always “me first,”

Doesn’t fly off the handle,

Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,

Doesn’t revel when others grovel,

Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,

Puts up with anything,

Trusts God always,

Always looks for the best,

Never looks back,

But keeps going to the end.

Are you those things? Which one really struck a chord with you just now? How can you be more loving to your children, your co-workers, and the everyday strangers you come in contact with?

Remember that when we show love to others, we are showing them God!

Love is a Verb

By: Whitney Jones

Everyone believes that love is important, but love is frequently thought of as a feeling. In reality, love is a choice and an action. God’s love always involves a choice and an action, and our love should be like His. How well do you display your love for God in the choices you make and the actions you take? Are the choices you make each day for your benefit or for others?

“Let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” -1 John 4:7-8

John says, “God is love” NOT “love is God” Our world has turned these words around which can skew our understanding of love. The world thinks that “love” is what makes a person feel good and that we should expect something in return. But that isn’t real love; it is the exact opposite- selfishness. And God is not that kind of “love”. God’s kind of love is directed outward toward others, not inward toward ourselves. It is completely unselfish. It is impossible to have this love unless God helps us set aside our own natural desires so that we can love and not expect anything in return. The more we become like Christ, the more love we will show to others.

 “Let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.”           -1 John 3:18.

Scripture is not saying that telling someone you love them is wrong. It’s saying that instead of going through the motions and saying “I love you” to your spouse, children, friends, and family; show them you love them by the choices you make each day and by your actions.

How will you reveal to others that you love them this season? Be specific. Think about each member of your family. How can you show your love to ____________? Fill in the blank and take action. Spread God’s kind of love, not the love that this world offers to us.