HOW TO HAVE AN AMAZING SUMMER

With only a few days of the school year left, every student is dreaming about Summer Break.  Why is summer so important for students?  Maybe it’s the relaxation, no school, or seemingly endless free time that makes summer feel so great. All of those things are major “pros” to Summer Break but I think one of the best things about the time off is it’s a great time for your child to grow.  

While your son or daughter may not be spending their time in a classroom it doesn't mean that they aren't growing. 

Let me share with you some of the great ways that your kids can learn and grow and have an amazing summer!

1)     Learn more naturally.

There is nothing wrong with the classroom, but the one thing that summer allows that the rest of the year doesn't is time to learn outside of the school environment.  We often don’t view other forms of learning as valuable as the time spent in class, but spending time with friends can help develop social skills.  Exploring a park or a forest can expand the imagination and ignite a passion for knowledge.  Summer allows for growth in students emotional skills and problem solving abilities.  It’s good for our brains to switch gears and learn in new ways – and Summer Break provides that opportunity.

2)    Live with low-to-no stress.

The older a child gets the more stress they begin to feel.  With the pressures to perform well in school and in sports they need a time to experience the world with low-to-no stress.  Summer provides a great time to take advantage of a time to be more relaxed and let students figure somethings out.  Unfortunately many parents view the Summer as time to get a head in sports or school and they miss an opportunity to relive stress and instead put more pressure on their child.  I encourage you to take advantage of the this built in time to “de-stress”.  You won’t believe the difference it could make for your child.

3)    Make lifelong memories.

Whether it’s spending time with members of the extended family or going on a trip with a group of friends, the summer provides the perfect avenue for students to do things that they will never forget.  I still remember my summers where we went on family vacations, went on youth group trips, and did crazy/messy/ridiculous things.  Don’t underestimate the power of a moment or a memory.  Use the summer as a way to encourage your child to do things they would never think about doing.

4)    Get refreshed.

Rest and relaxation are important for students.  As we mentioned earlier school is extremely stressful – homework, peer pressure, cliques and sports to name a few – are things that a child really needs to evaluate.  Maybe your child doesn't want to play the piano anymore.  Maybe they decide they need some new friends.  It’s hard for a child to transition away from activities or people that they feel they need to change – but providing space like Summer Break can allow them to evaluate where they want to go moving forward.  Giving them time to be refreshed is crucial.

We hope that Summer Break for your child is amazing.  We are hear providing some key opportunities to help them connect with people, make memories, continue to grow and in the meantime be refreshed.  We hope you are looking forward to summer as much as we are.  It’s going to be amazing!

Parenting and the "Art of Pruning"

A high school couple of three years breaks up days before prom.  He is devastated and seems completely lost without her.

A 6^th grader hangs his head, trying to avoid eye contact with anyone who might make him feel “less than” -  anyone who would call him by many other names.

She sneaks away when no one is looking, trying to purge her system to make sure that she won’t put on a pound.  It’s difficult to get into the popular crowd; she can’t imagine what it would be like to ever be left out again.

It’s painful to watch your children struggle.  It’s difficult to see them in pain.  It may be one of the biggest challenges as a parent – to help your child navigate hardship, trial and frustration.  I believe much of the struggle for parents comes because we don’t truly understand the purpose of hardship, trial and pain.

But if we truly want to navigate the difficult issues, then we must understand gardening.  Yes, that’s right gardening.  We must develop our horticultural skills, get our hands dirty and discover God’s green thumb.

Jesus often spoke in pictures, using rich imagery to communicate deeper truths.  In John 15 He reminds us that our relationship with God is much like a tree and it’s branches.  “I am the true vine (tree), and my Father is the gardener.  He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will even be more fruitful … remain in Me, and I will remain in you.  No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine.” 

I think Jesus has a lot to say in just a few verses here, that can help us as parents discover the “Art of Pruning” – and discover why God would allow our children to go through and experience difficult things.

1.       Hardship, Trials & Frustration are Good Things

Our perspective on pain and suffering is terribly skewed.  We automatically view pain and suffering, hardship and frustration, trial and temptation as bad things.  In reality they are good things.  They are things that God has given us for a reason.

They have a purpose.  Think about it, physical pain has a purpose.  If you cut yourself but didn’t feel pain you would never know that you needed medical attention.    The emotions we often associate with hurt and pain are purposeful too.  Without suffering how would we really experience joy.

Without knowing what can be lost how can we appreciate what we have?

James puts it this way, “Consider it joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its works so hat you may be mature and complete not lacking anything.”

God’s purpose for these difficult things is to help us become the people He creates us to be.  He wants us to be mature.  He wants us to be complete.  That won’t happen if we always have it easy.  So instead of growing wild – we are pruned.

As parents, we need to recognize this truth and press into it.  We need to help our children recognize that hard things are not bad things; that the most difficult times in their lives are the times that God is most active at shaping them into the person He has called them to be.

2.       You Can’t “Fix” Pruning

Look back to Jesus’ words in John 15.  Don’t miss this – everyone gets cut. EVERYONE.  This isn’t something you can avoid.  This isn’t something you can protect your kids from.  It’s going to happen, so don’t try to “fix” it.

As parents we want to protect our kids.  We want to keep pain and struggle as far away from them as possible.  I’m not saying just let your kids go crazy.  But what I am saying is don’t over-protect them.  Don’t soften the consequences of bad choices.  Don’t take the brunt of the load hardship.

Remember if these things are good for them, and everyone needs to be pruned, then your job as a parent is help them through that process, teach them what it looks like to follow God during difficult times, show them how to respond in the face of adversity.

Too often, we seek to shield or hide our children from the harsh realities of this world.  I think that largely that’s a mistake.  We all need pruned, so allow your children to go through this process with you before they have to navigate it on their own.

3.       You are not the Gardner

This may be the most important part of the pruning process, and it’s easy to overlook.  Jesus says that He is the vine or the tree, we are the branches and God is the gardener.  It’s God’s green thumb that knows the “Art of Pruning.”

We must trust that God knows what he is doing; that even when life seems harsh, unforgiving, and unfair – that God is not absent.  He’s not unaware of what’s going on, He is instead right there with us in the garden.  Just like it’s been from the beginning.  And He’s finding ways to use all of the trials and hardship to make us into better people.  People who look more like Him.

Don’t try to explain the reason for everything that’s happening to and with your kids – instead point them to God.  Encourage them to discover what the Master Gardner is up to.  Help them discover the “Art of Pruning” for themselves.